Pulling the Weeds, Keeping the Flowers

What can I say? Life has been good to me lately. There have been some days where I'm just skipping around, peppy all day. My theory is that A) I've started drinking more coffee B) Our office's coffee is a watered-down version of speed, and C) After reading a book on choice, I realized I've made some pretty good decisions and should be content in that.

I've been noticing more and more how much better I'm getting at relieving myself of negativity. I used to let guilt and regret weigh me down, and of course, I'm not 100% better, but I do find myself standing up more for what I want and really making my life my own. This might not be an accomplishment to some, but as a self-identified doormat, this is huge progress for me.

For one, I'm really realizing how much my good friends mean to me. My family members are truly my best friends, so I'm lucky in that department. As for my friends outside of family, I was feeling a little bit sad a couple weeks ago, and I have "Sex and the City" to blame.

After going on a binge watching that show non-stop for 3 weeks, I found myself yearning for that close girlfriend bonding. Even the girls who have boyfriends/husbands or kids or demanding careers are able to tear themselves away for cocktail hour in Manhattan (of course, the show wouldn't be much of a show if the girls were always cancelling on hanging out with one another in favor of catching up on laundry).

In real life, I'm noticing that it's getting harder and harder to have quality friendships where you spend a significant time with friends and not just every now and again when you can fit them in. I miss those days when you could call your girlfriends just to bitch about anything and then still hang out that night at the movies. Now, a weekly phone call or bi-weekly hangout is enough to satisfy the minimum friendship requirement, and so we all go on our merry way, living different lives that are barely intertwined.

Maybe I'm feeling this way because I never joined a sorority in college, so that female bonding was never fulfilled. Also, I was one competitive bitch in high school. I'll admit it! I took my friends for granted and instead focused on having a boyfriend (and a mean one, at that). Thankfully, a couple of my most cherished friends from those days have looked past my snatchy ways and are still friends with me.

So, anyway, I know we all are busy and have our own paths to go down. And I can't expect my life to be like a TV show. If I'm lucky enough to have at least one quality friend, then I'm golden. And I do have more than one! There are a couple people in my life who will probably be there forever - and then there are those that I just need to cut ties with.

My dad used to tell me "wean away" from this one bad seed that I was friends with in 8th grade (actually, he would over-emphasize the "wean" part, so it sounded more like "weeeeean away" every time he reminded me, which was often). I eventually did, and now I'm trying to repeat that with another girl in my life. She's been someone who's caused me a lot of stress this last year, and I realize now how much I don't need that. We haven't talked in awhile, and I'm a lot happier. So that's the sign right there - if my life is better without her, it's time to pull the weed and keep the flowers, a.k.a. the friends that really matter.

In other news, this last weekend I visited Chico with Steve. Sooooo much fun! He showed me the night life, and I can see now why the town is known for its crazy partying ways. Alcohol is dirt cheap! There wasn't a bar we went to that wasn't packed, and our drink orders never totaled more than $7. We stopped by my cousin Jordin's apartment, which was fun. The next day, I went to a key tourist spot in Chico - the funeral home where a booted "Bachelor" contestant works! Yes, I am a dork. We spent time at Steve's parent's house since it was his mom's birthday, and I had such a good time. They are an awesome family!

This past week has been fine - Monday I saw one of my feminist idols, Gloria Steinem, speak in Folsom. She was brilliant! She's exactly the kind of woman I want to be - strong, intelligent, reasonable, empathetic, humble and hopeful.

Some downsides to these last couple weeks - we lost out on some new prospective clients at work, and an award I applied for based on the work I did for a client of mine last year didn't win :( But I really don't have much to complain about, especially with bigger problems going on in the world. I'm just happy to be content, healthy and employed - and surrounded by good people!

All right, enough rambling.....for now....