Comfort vs. Chaos

One of my 3 readers, my friend Chelsea, gave me some good advice in a post comment recently. She said, "Paying bills and going to bed at a decent hour is all well and good, but you could stand to be a little more irresponsible at times."

SO true! This has been one of the many things nagging at me when it comes to figuring my life out. I worry about making enough money, working at a job that allows me to make time for zumba, living in an apartment that has a washer & dryer and offers ample parking. All of these things I have right now. And you know what? I'm bored.

Comfort is a funny thing - it makes you feel at ease, but at the same time, it makes you (or at least, me) restless. I have my life all in order, so why am I anxious about everything?

I've been thinking about what Chelsea said, and she's right on. I've really been taking the easy way out for pretty much my entire life, never wanting to put in that extra umph to make life more fulfilling. Some examples:

• I commute 10 minutes to work and come home for lunch, which plays a big factor in me not pursuing work downtown because of the 30+ min. drive each way.
• My apartment is nice and has all of the amenities I've looked for, but this is the suburbs for crying out loud. I'm sick of families and white people. I need me some culture!
• I leave work and come home, very rarely thinking about work once 4:30 rolls around. Sounds blissful right? Well, I could stand to be a little more stressed out about it, as crazy as that sounds.
• All of my bills get paid, and I'm pretty stable financially. Yet all I do is fantasize about a big trip to Italy. Why haven't I planned it already?

I think it's high time I make some changes and start incorporating some irresponsibility into my life. Instead of my strict 10 or 10:30 p.m. bedtime every night, why don't I stay up until midnight writing a short story or watching a favorite movie? And would it really hurt me to get into work early once in awhile to get things done before everyone shows up? It's like I try so hard to avoid stress that in doing so, I drive myself crazy - and even worse, I don't challenge myself. I stick to my comfort zone, which is fine if you're 40, but 25 is the time to put myself out there.

I'm going to start working on this, although I'm not expecting changes overnight. I do still love my early bedtimes and making it to all my workout classes every week. But maybe I can loosen up the britches every now and again, and get irresponsible!