Goodbye, 2009. I Will Not Miss You.

It seems to be the resounding theme lately for everyone to be anxiously waiting for the end of this shiteous year.

I am also one of these haters of 2009, and it brings me great joy in thinking that in just 14 short hours, a clean slate will be made and we can all start anew.

This is all theoretical, of course, because tomorrow is really just another day (well, it'll be a fabulous day off and hopefully a win for my Oregon Ducks in the Rose Bowl!).

Not to take away from the people who have it much worse than I do, but some pretty crappy things happened to me this year: my parents lost their house to foreclosure, my heart was majorly broken for the 345th time, my stress level shot through the roof with my previous roommate situation, my cousin is going through cancer treatment, a trip to Oregon was ruined by drama, I dealt with bitchy girls, I was reminded just how much my ex-boyfriends don't miss me, I went on charity dates that left me dejected and Christmas was pretty much a bust.

Of course, there were many good moments that happened this year that should not be overshadowed by my pessimism: my parents live in a great home now that's perfect for them, my heart rebounds a lot better than I've ever given myself credit for, I went to two beautiful weddings, I figured out what the hell was wrong with Cammie's barfing problem, I moved out on my own into a place I adore, I mended a broken friendship, my good friend gave birth to an adorable baby girl, I went on hands-down the best vacation ever in SoCal with my family, I met new people that gave me hope that good hearts do exist, my old co-worker Laura rejoined us at the office, I learned job appreciation, I successfully presented on domestic violence/sexual assault for WEAVE to various groups in the community, I took a creative writing class and I decided that being single isn't so bad.

I have no idea what to expect in 2010 - I'm changing my mind all the time, but I do want to start thinking seriously about grad school. First step - studying for the GRE! I might look into taking some yoga or pilates classes also. Another thing I hope to do is move in with my friend Erica! I think living with a friend might be a good thing for me - I can do the living alone thing, but it's nice to come home to someone :) Another wish of mine is to re-do my Oregon trip - I may go in June for a reunion with some old PR mates and dorm buddies!

My plans tonight include going out downtown with a group of people, most of whom I don't know. But I do know I'll be ending the year in style - with vodka!

We'll see what happens in 2010....as long as the good outweighs the bad, I'll be OK.

Happy New Year, everybody!

Winter Wonderland

I've been wondering lately what my plan is. I've always had some goal in mind or something to aspire to, and lately I feel like I'm just stuck and not really going anywhere.

Everything at work is going great. I'm busy, motivated (usually) and the days go by pretty quickly. But I just wonder what my purpose is. What am I meant to do in this world? Yes, I'm 23 and have time to think about it. But I've never been one to sit still and just let things happen to me - I'm usually the one making things happen.

My volunteering with WEAVE has kind of slowed down (although I'm presenting at a workshop in a week), so maybe I need to pick up another volunteering endeavor.

In other, more exciting news, Christmas is right around the corner! We celebrated yesterday at work by going to Fat's for our office lunch. Yes, we went to Fat's, the place where I gave that perv an apple dumpling. No spotting of said perv, thankfully!

The lunch was delectable, as usual - I ate almost an entire slice of the banana cream pie all by myself! We were joined by 4 "surprise guests," as my boss put it. This included 2 former employees and 2 people we work with every now and again. It was a blast! Especially the part when my co-worker mentioned buying his spouse a gun for Christmas, and one of our special guests inquired, "Is that for use or for pleasure?" Oh, wow. I laughed uncontrollably at that point.

The only downside was I was so full for the rest of the day. And the worst part - I'm so lazy that I didn't work it off today! But my excuse is that this is the holiday season - you're supposed to indulge and be merry.

I spent my Friday night at my grandma's house with my aunt and cousin. We talked politics and watched "Confessions of a Shopaholic." LOVE that movie! My grandma is just a riot - she has this abhorrence for spearmint gum, and she could smell it in my purse all the way in the other room! Ahhh, my precious Grams is 84 and still quite the whipper-snapper.

I came home and did one of my favorite things - curling up on the couch with my afghan blanket (thanks for that, sis!), snacking and watching girly movies. Last night's choice was "Mean Girls." Ever the classic and one of my faves. It still makes me laugh! It was briefly interrupted by drunk text messages from this guy friend of mine. He's been texting me lately and asked me the other day if we were going to hang out this weekend. I totally would if I knew it would be just a friend thing, but I get the distinct feeling that this fool expects more. Ugh, so annoying! Why does everything have to be a booty call? Doesn't anyone just want to talk anymore? Apparently not.

And the irritating part is this guy wasn't even trying hard to make it a booty call. I mean, if you're trying to woo me, at least put in a little effort, buddy! No sweet talk or niceness. Just him putting on the macho bravado that I LOATHE, expecting me to just run to him and rip my clothes off. Not gonna happen.

The only good thing about this whole scenario is that it shows my improvement over the last couple years. Had this been awhile back, I might take the attention as flattery and worry about hurting this guy's feelings by turning him down. Not the case anymore! I'm so fed up with assholes and absolutely more certain now about the kind of guy I'd like to date, that my standards have been raised and my bullshit tolerance is slowly waning. Finally!

I don't always want to be this nice girl that guys can walk all over. Yes, I have a long way to go considering there are certain people (a certain person, really) who have this way of melting me down, even when I make up my mind to move on. I frustrate myself sometimes, but I feel like I'm more in touch with reality than I ever have been. Even if I still have a long way to go, that minor improvement means a lot to me.

So what do I do to help keep me in line? I concentrate on family (like going to visit my grandma) and friends - I'm headed to my friend Erica's family Christmas party tonight in Auburn. I can't wait! She has a wonderful family, and nothing fills my heart up more than being surrounded by happy people - and food!

I'll end this entry with a quaint little Christmas story - Cammie decided to give me my present early this year.....a nice little poop right outside her litter box and then about 4 little dingleberries dispersed throughout the bathroom. Season's greetings!

If You Don't Shmooze, You Lose

I was feeling a bit dejected earlier today. My boss gave us all the assignment to each send out 10 Christmas cards to anyone we wanted (business-related), rather than us sending dozens as a whole.

Ten cards sounded simple enough. And then I began to make my list in my notebook.

Let's see, there's the nice lady that I chat with at the local newspaper office here. There's a small client of ours that I mostly deal with, and then there's another client that would seem appropriate for me to send a card to.

And....

I couldn't think of anyone else.

How sad that I am a work loner! This is what I get for not shmoozing. Anytime I've gone to Sacramento Public Relations Association events, I get shy and don't always talk up everyone. I do meet many nice people, and I can talk to strangers. I guess I just never take that next step in forming a business relationship. I guess that would make me single in the work world, as well as in real life.

Sheesh, I need to step my game up!

Thankfully, my boss and co-worker both came to my rescue and helped me come up with a few other folks. Now I'm up to 9. I thought about addressing one to our UPS guy, but that idea was quickly poo-poo'd. Maybe the dry cleaning guy that comes in? OK, now I'm just pushing it.