This is a book I was so ill-advised to purchase a couple of years ago.
I stopped reading half way through because it was a beyond ridiculous, antiquated and downright offensive excuse for a "self-help" book. Nowhere did I find the reasoning behind the title - I'm still pondering to this day: why DO men love bitches? It should have been called "How to Act Like a Game-Playing, Immature Teenager So You Can Snag the Attention of Misogynistic, Insecure Tools."
I threw the book away (recycled, rather - that crappy book needs to be redeemed somehow!) before my recent move. And today I began to question once more: why do guys tend to stray away from nice girls and flock to the so-called bitches?
And why would any self-respecting woman attempt to downplay her kindness in hopes of attaining the ever-so-precious attention of some one-track minded asshole?
Could I easily be more of a bitch? Absolutely. Could I get a guy to like me? Sure (although, this may be open to interpretation as of late). But honestly, do I really even WANT to be liked by a guy who's sole reason for his initial attraction to me is the way I act unattainable? Is this guy even worth my energy and time? Absolutely not. I want a guy who appreciates nice girls. He may be hard to find, but I have faith they're out there.
And this principle of bitch loving applies to other parts of life, like working relationships, meeting acquaintances and even friendships. Maybe this is just my distorted view, but I always feel like I see inconsiderate people getting what they want in the end. They were "pushy" enough to go for it, so that means they deserve respect and attention at work and in their social lives?
That is ludicrous.
The reason why I'm questioning this so much today is because a recent situation brought this whole bitch-loving nonsense to my attention. Someone I was close to (and treated VERY well) is now adrift from me. This person is, however, still very close to a certain someone who is - all right, I'll just go out and say it - a bitch. The bitch has screwed this person over before, and that person has vowed to me that they will no longer remain as close to that bitch as before.
Yet here we are - that person will not give me the time of day, yet they are as close as ever to this bitch person. I had (obviously erroneously) placed this person on a pedestal and assumed they were more evolved than that; however, I am mistaken. I did nothing wrong to this person, so maybe I need to stoop to this bitch's level in order to be more appealing? Oh, hell freakin' no.
This isn't the first time this person has showed their taste for bitch. This person has an ex who was also quite the brute, and this person still holds that ex in very high esteem, even going so far as to say they miss them and would like to rekindle some semblance of a friendship.
When did being inconsiderate and downright awful become the M.O. for how to be in certain people's lives? It's like thoughtfulness and compassion count for nothing!
I'm not claiming to be perfect - I'm far from it - but I would classify myself as more of a nice, easy-going person than a stubborn, hard-headed one. I know I'm not the only nice person out there, but so many times I feel like I'm a good, caring person surrounded by a screwed up world full of self-serving assholes. When does it pay off to be nice?? Why is it that I get walked on and taken for granted when I try my best to treat others well?
There is some condition in children where they're unable to read others' emotions - like you could be crying in front of the child, and he/she wouldn't understand that something is wrong. I think I have the exact opposite of this condition - I'm reading and observing people non-stop, trying to figure out how best to adapt to their situation and feelings. Always worrying about how they feel and how to best make them feel comfortable. I never want to hurt their feelings, so I do my best to tip-toe around sensitive topics.
It is exhausting.
And yet, I don't know how to be anything but nice. I don't know how to be a bitch (in the definition that the author of that lame ass book came up with). I don't want to be a bitch, either. I just want to be myself and have other people around me give a shit too. I want other people to be more sensitive to my feelings (and when I say other people, I mean the general public and other acquaintances. I have great friends and family!).
Why does it seem sometimes that I'm surrounded by tin men who have no hearts?? Where is the Great and Powerful Oz when you need him!
I've decided it's best that I cut ties with those insensitive and unevolved people who are either bitches themselves or bitch lovers. Why would I want them in my life anyway? It's hurtful to be let down, but all I can do is surround myself with people who encourage me to be just as I am and like me, niceness and all.
I stopped reading half way through because it was a beyond ridiculous, antiquated and downright offensive excuse for a "self-help" book. Nowhere did I find the reasoning behind the title - I'm still pondering to this day: why DO men love bitches? It should have been called "How to Act Like a Game-Playing, Immature Teenager So You Can Snag the Attention of Misogynistic, Insecure Tools."
I threw the book away (recycled, rather - that crappy book needs to be redeemed somehow!) before my recent move. And today I began to question once more: why do guys tend to stray away from nice girls and flock to the so-called bitches?
And why would any self-respecting woman attempt to downplay her kindness in hopes of attaining the ever-so-precious attention of some one-track minded asshole?
Could I easily be more of a bitch? Absolutely. Could I get a guy to like me? Sure (although, this may be open to interpretation as of late). But honestly, do I really even WANT to be liked by a guy who's sole reason for his initial attraction to me is the way I act unattainable? Is this guy even worth my energy and time? Absolutely not. I want a guy who appreciates nice girls. He may be hard to find, but I have faith they're out there.
And this principle of bitch loving applies to other parts of life, like working relationships, meeting acquaintances and even friendships. Maybe this is just my distorted view, but I always feel like I see inconsiderate people getting what they want in the end. They were "pushy" enough to go for it, so that means they deserve respect and attention at work and in their social lives?
That is ludicrous.
The reason why I'm questioning this so much today is because a recent situation brought this whole bitch-loving nonsense to my attention. Someone I was close to (and treated VERY well) is now adrift from me. This person is, however, still very close to a certain someone who is - all right, I'll just go out and say it - a bitch. The bitch has screwed this person over before, and that person has vowed to me that they will no longer remain as close to that bitch as before.
Yet here we are - that person will not give me the time of day, yet they are as close as ever to this bitch person. I had (obviously erroneously) placed this person on a pedestal and assumed they were more evolved than that; however, I am mistaken. I did nothing wrong to this person, so maybe I need to stoop to this bitch's level in order to be more appealing? Oh, hell freakin' no.
This isn't the first time this person has showed their taste for bitch. This person has an ex who was also quite the brute, and this person still holds that ex in very high esteem, even going so far as to say they miss them and would like to rekindle some semblance of a friendship.
When did being inconsiderate and downright awful become the M.O. for how to be in certain people's lives? It's like thoughtfulness and compassion count for nothing!
I'm not claiming to be perfect - I'm far from it - but I would classify myself as more of a nice, easy-going person than a stubborn, hard-headed one. I know I'm not the only nice person out there, but so many times I feel like I'm a good, caring person surrounded by a screwed up world full of self-serving assholes. When does it pay off to be nice?? Why is it that I get walked on and taken for granted when I try my best to treat others well?
There is some condition in children where they're unable to read others' emotions - like you could be crying in front of the child, and he/she wouldn't understand that something is wrong. I think I have the exact opposite of this condition - I'm reading and observing people non-stop, trying to figure out how best to adapt to their situation and feelings. Always worrying about how they feel and how to best make them feel comfortable. I never want to hurt their feelings, so I do my best to tip-toe around sensitive topics.
It is exhausting.
And yet, I don't know how to be anything but nice. I don't know how to be a bitch (in the definition that the author of that lame ass book came up with). I don't want to be a bitch, either. I just want to be myself and have other people around me give a shit too. I want other people to be more sensitive to my feelings (and when I say other people, I mean the general public and other acquaintances. I have great friends and family!).
Why does it seem sometimes that I'm surrounded by tin men who have no hearts?? Where is the Great and Powerful Oz when you need him!
I've decided it's best that I cut ties with those insensitive and unevolved people who are either bitches themselves or bitch lovers. Why would I want them in my life anyway? It's hurtful to be let down, but all I can do is surround myself with people who encourage me to be just as I am and like me, niceness and all.
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