Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Mean Girls

When I was younger, I used to run to my mom and tell her when other girls at school were being mean to me. Most of the pejoratives thrown my way were people calling me a "goody-goody" or "teacher's pet." She suggested that maybe these girls were just jealous of me. This might have been the case, although I doubt anyone was green with envy when I came to school with a sun blister on my face and got called "Bubble Chin" for the rest of the day. Or there was the time someone made fun of my hairy legs in 5th grade. I doubt anyone was secretly wishing they were Teen Wolf.

Now that I'm grown up, I assumed that "mean girl" mentality would fade away, but I've noticed lately that that's not entirely the case. I know a few grown women who are catty as can be, sometimes overtly, other times more concealed. Either way, I can't comprehend why some women still do this to other women - we deal with enough coming from men, so why turn on each other?

Most of the time, this "mean girl" stuff is just petty - a snarky comment, a text message with attitude, condescension. I refuse to play into it. That's just not my style. I stopped playing those games when I was in high school. I used to treat my friends more like "frenemies" - girls that I treated like friends to their faces, but behind their backs I trashed them like Joan Rivers. It wasn't until college when I finally opened my eyes to my own behavior - why was I competing against these girls who were my friends instead of rooting for them? Why was I secretly hoping to outdo them or appear superior? There was no good reason for it, so I decided to stop.

Unfortunately, I occasionally run into ladies who get pleasure in trying to bring other women down. These are people I either opt not to associate with or I just keep my distance. My closest friends are people I know have my back - they support me, and I support them. These "mean girls" don't really succeed in making me feel bad about myself. It's more of a reflection of their character rather than mine. And while I don't believe these people are actually jealous of me, I do think their attitudes reflect their own insecurities. A secure and confident person doesn't need to bring someone else down in order to feel good about themselves. That's more of an instant gratification than a solution to good self-esteem.

Of course, I'm not claiming to be perfect or holier than thou. I partake in cattiness here and there, I'll admit. Nevertheless, I generally try my best to avoid getting caught up in full-on drama. Sadly, sometimes the drama finds you.

I don't take it too personal though. Even the most angelic people are the target for mean girls - my mom, for example, got a nasty note written to her by a Filipina woman who thought my mom was stealing her husband (riiiiiiiiight). The woman left an anonymous note for my mom that said she was "a white trash." Gee, I wonder who would write such grammatically incorrect malarkey.

So basically, there's no way everyone we meet in this world will like us. But the least I can do is just ignore the mean girls and take the high road.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

She's Baaaaaaaack

My little month hiatus from blogging is over. I also took a break from Facebook and Twitter for a bit too, but now I'm back in action.

Why the break, you ask? I was getting a bit too distracted - as well as overwhelmed - by the online world. I wanted to take time away to see what it was like to not worry about who posted what on their Facebook status update or what I should re-tweet. The break was incredible! I didn't miss my online self one bit, and it allowed me to relax on my week-and-a-half vacation. I've returned feeling replenished, so the break did its job. Plus, I just got the new iPhone so it's a must that I use it to its full potential.

Here is what has been going on as of late:

1) My grandma in San Diego passed away last Wednesday. She was 91. I really feel like life has a way of always working things out because as luck would have it, our family was down in SD on vacation last week. I got to spend crucial time with her after hospice was set up at her house. She was happy and laughing, and the day after she got to see all 5 of her kids surrounding her was when she finally let go and went up to join Grandpa. I was pretty sad at work last Thursday - couldn't focus or get motivated to do anything. Thankfully, I have an amazing co-worker who brought me a card and my favorite candy bar, and she was so supportive. My roomie cheered me up too and kept my mind off of things. I'm feeling much better now, especially since I know she's not in pain anymore.

2) My roommate moved out last Saturday, and I move into my new place this weekend! I'm unbelievably excited because I love living alone and my new place is super cute - it's in a gated condo complex so I won't be living in the hood any longer.

3) I went on vacation, which wasn't as relaxing as I would have hoped, but I had a blast. I first spent a few days in San Francisco with my cousin and sister. That is hands-down my favorite city in the world! We did touristy things, ate amazing food like my favorite pizza and delicious crepes, and we drank at a club on top of a fabulous hotel, hanging with some fun Yahoo! executives. I never wanted to leave! The next leg of vacay was our family reunion on a Mexican cruise from Long Beach to Ensenada. It wasn't exactly what I'd envisioned (whoever said you can't even tell you're on a boat is a LIAR), but it was still so much fun! I sang karaoke, ate some more good food (I even ate dessert for every meal one day), watched a singing/dancing show, went to a comedy routine and had an awesome massage & facial. Lastly, we spent a couple days in San Diego having quality family time. It was very special.

4) I got set up with someone by a lady in my yoga class. This woman randomly came up to me after class and asked if I was married (are you kidding? I look about 13 years old). She told me she wanted to set me up with her son, and she asked for my phone number. Wow, this was a first! His name is Matt, and we've hung out a couple times. He plays in a couple bands and teaches guitar right down the street from me. Very nice guy and super funny. Not sure what will happen in the future, but for now, I'm happy to have made a new friend.

5) Someone special just moved to Sacramento. He makes me laugh more than anyone I know, and I'm so thrilled that we are neighbors now :)

That's basically it! I'm glad to be back to blogging...I sure missed the writing.