Sunday, October 30, 2011

Don't Give Up So Easily

As determined as I am about some things, I tend to want to quit when the goin' gets a little rough.

When we were going to jump in the deep end in swim lessons, when my ballet teacher told me I ruined the Christmas show because I had the stomach flu, when I was copy chief of my college's newspaper for 2 weeks but couldn't handle the working-til-1-a..m. schedule. All times that I quit.

So even though I keep on truckin' when it comes to succeeding at major goals, I really want to work on not giving up so easily when it comes to the small stuff.

This all came to mind this past weekend after getting into a couple "tiffs," if you will, with the boyfriend. A couple times, I felt compelled to just get up and leave. Avoid the situation. Get away altogether. All of these thoughts went through my head, such as, "What's the point of being in a relationship?" and "It's so much easier being alone," etc. (For the record, this was me being dramatic. In no way am I looking to end my relationship. The best is yet to come!).

This whole being in a real relationship (and by real, I mean one where I could actually see it go somewhere) is tougher than I thought, I'll admit. Not because of anything having to do with Ty. It's all me. I'm the head case who's gotten too used to being single. So now I've got to learn how to mesh my nearly 26 years of life with someone else's two decades of experiences, goals, habits, expectations, hot button issues.

Here I thought meeting the right guy was the hard part. Now I think the hard part is learning how to be the right girl for the right guy.

I don't want to be a quitter. I don't want to get up and storm out the minute things don't go my way. Because really, these minor disagreements mean nothing compared to arguments over mortgages and raising kids - you know, real stuff.

Sure, sometimes you have off days and just want to be alone. It doesn't mean you should run off and never look back. Then you'd never be with anyone.

Ironically, it's when we have tiffs that I realize how good for me Ty is. He always assures me that everything will be OK. And best of all - he fights for me. He doesn't let me just walk out, and he makes great efforts to talk about everything and resolve it all. That's the exact kind of person I should be with.

I have a lot to learn, and I'm looking forward to the time when I can just let things roll off my back. I don't want to be overly sensitive or give up at the first sign of disagreement. I'm an over-achiever in other parts of my life, so dammit, I'm going to excel at my relationship too.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Gymmin' It Up

I hate gyms. Hate them! All I see are germs, sweat and people fitter than I am. Plus, I find them boring as all hell. Yeah, you can watch TV or listen to your iPod, but I can do that at home, on my comfortable couch, in my bright pink pj's, and not feel like I'm having an asthma attack. Oh yeah, and I don't get a tomato face when I'm at home, which is all too common when I exert any sort of physical energy.

Gyms have never been my comfort zone. Walking into one is like when I walk into a church or a super ritzy restaurant - I can't help but look around and think, "Do I really belong here?"

That said, I was a bit hesitant when I won a drawing prize at a work event that gave me 2 free months at a local gym. Two free months at this place is a $120 value, so I'd be stupid to pass that up. But I was nervous going to this place for fear that the employees would prey on my gullibility and magically get me to sign up for a lifetime membership. These meatheads are like vultures at these gyms - car salesmen with biceps! I've been known to be talked into a lot of stupid things, so I'd rather not go into the lion's den and have to get sweaty while doing it.

Well, Ty goes to this gym, so I figured it'd be safe to bring him along so we could work out together. We went last night, and I was severely dreading going. I'd worked non-stop all day, my commute was annoying and rainy, and all I wanted to do was watch Kim Kardashian's Fairy Tale Wedding on the E! Network. But I dragged my butt over there.

It started off annoying because the membership manager couldn't fathom why I had a 2-month pass (apparently they're rare at this place), and he was unsure how to redeem it. Then he brought me back to his desk to try and tell me how memberships now are the "cheapest he's ever seen." Riiiight.

Anyhoo, I finally got to the working out, which was boring at first, but then I was able to watch my own personal TV on a bike, and "Rachel Maddow" was on. Nothing like some political news to get me distracted and not thinking about working out!

The night ended well after Ty showed me how to use some machines (I especially liked the rowing one....I'm a regular Winklevoss twin), and we played some basketball. OK, "played" might be a bit of a stretch, but it was fun! Overall, it was a good experience despite my hatred of gyms. I think I just need to find what works for me and go with that. Because I'll never be one of these people who jogs on a treadmill for 45 minutes and pumps some serious iron. I'm more of a zumba and yoga girl. And now maybe a rower too.

I'm interested to see what other people's gym routines are - how in the hell do people get so motivated to go? And once they do go, how do they not keep from feeling like a zombie after one repetitive activity after another? Sure, I love the feeling you get once it's over. That's the best part. But I want to find a way to like the journey too.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Oktober Cluster F

I spent this past weekend with Ty and his family in their new Truckee house that he and his dad have been building. The bulk of it is completed, and now the only things left to do are decorating and finishing up a couple minor things here and there. The house is gorgeous! A true Tahoe-esque cabin with high ceilings, log siding and an enormous wooden truss inside the great room when you first walk in. I'm so proud of Ty for building it with his dad - he really put his career and life on hold these last 3+ years to help his family, and now he has this amazing home (not to mention new skills and memories with his padre) to show for it.

On Saturday we (as in Ty, his mom and her two girlfriends) worked on decorating the house a bit, which I admit is not even close to being my forte. My sister got the HGTV gene, while I'm more of the passive observer-type decorator. But I did my best and helped with little things.

Our group took a break and decided to hit up the Oktoberfest going on at Squaw Valley. The place was packed with lederhosen and beer mugs galore - as well as a whole boat load of drunk 20-somethings. Eh, not so much my scene. I would have been much happier if all kinds of annoyances didn't ensue, such as:

1) The beer lines were long as hell. You had to first get in the mug line and THEN get in the beer line. Umm, no.
2) Ty spotted a girl he's friends with and gave her a big ol' friendly hug hello. Did I mention this girl could have passed for Sarah Michelle Gellar's doppelganger? And did I mention that I wore no makeup and had on a frickin' hoodie for crying out loud?? It's not that I thought Ty liked her or anything. It was more that I was just having one of those low self-esteem days where you don't feel on top of your game looks-wise. I know I should be secure in my looks since in all honesty, I pride myself in being low maintenance. But we girls all have our moments when we just feel frumpy.
3) Ty got all hot and bothered when his mom entered him into some contest where you had to hold up beer mugs at shoulder height for a long time. Apparently he doesn't like when people enter him into things, so he stormed off in a huff. Oh, boy. We sure could have used some beers at this point, but alas, refer to #1.

Despite Oktoberfest being a bust, it all ended well because Ty snapped out of his little hissy fit, he assured me that he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what, and we drank our own damn beers (sans waiting in line) once we got back to the cabin. We broke in their new kitchen and ate a mouth-watering dinner of pot roast and veggies, and I passed out on the couch in my fleece pj's feeling happy as a clam. Overall, a lovely weekend to open up my favorite month!