Sunday, October 30, 2011

Don't Give Up So Easily

As determined as I am about some things, I tend to want to quit when the goin' gets a little rough.

When we were going to jump in the deep end in swim lessons, when my ballet teacher told me I ruined the Christmas show because I had the stomach flu, when I was copy chief of my college's newspaper for 2 weeks but couldn't handle the working-til-1-a..m. schedule. All times that I quit.

So even though I keep on truckin' when it comes to succeeding at major goals, I really want to work on not giving up so easily when it comes to the small stuff.

This all came to mind this past weekend after getting into a couple "tiffs," if you will, with the boyfriend. A couple times, I felt compelled to just get up and leave. Avoid the situation. Get away altogether. All of these thoughts went through my head, such as, "What's the point of being in a relationship?" and "It's so much easier being alone," etc. (For the record, this was me being dramatic. In no way am I looking to end my relationship. The best is yet to come!).

This whole being in a real relationship (and by real, I mean one where I could actually see it go somewhere) is tougher than I thought, I'll admit. Not because of anything having to do with Ty. It's all me. I'm the head case who's gotten too used to being single. So now I've got to learn how to mesh my nearly 26 years of life with someone else's two decades of experiences, goals, habits, expectations, hot button issues.

Here I thought meeting the right guy was the hard part. Now I think the hard part is learning how to be the right girl for the right guy.

I don't want to be a quitter. I don't want to get up and storm out the minute things don't go my way. Because really, these minor disagreements mean nothing compared to arguments over mortgages and raising kids - you know, real stuff.

Sure, sometimes you have off days and just want to be alone. It doesn't mean you should run off and never look back. Then you'd never be with anyone.

Ironically, it's when we have tiffs that I realize how good for me Ty is. He always assures me that everything will be OK. And best of all - he fights for me. He doesn't let me just walk out, and he makes great efforts to talk about everything and resolve it all. That's the exact kind of person I should be with.

I have a lot to learn, and I'm looking forward to the time when I can just let things roll off my back. I don't want to be overly sensitive or give up at the first sign of disagreement. I'm an over-achiever in other parts of my life, so dammit, I'm going to excel at my relationship too.

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