I have weekly minor freak outs where I question where in the world I'm going with my life. It's not like I'm a loser with no direction - I think the problem is having too many different directions to go toward.
My friend Nicole recently told me about a book she's reading called "The Choice Effect," and it's about this exact problem with my generation - we have too many options that it's actually a disservice to us. We're constantly left to make decisions, decisions that we may later question and wonder if there's a better one we could have made. This is why I've always said I wish I could live 5 different lives - that way I can experience different career paths, different relationships and different places to live.
Unless you're a staunch Buddhist, this is probably never going to happen. I guess the only thing to do is find out what we like best and just go for that - and accept the choices we make. Of course there will always be regrets and things we wish we could have done, but rather than looking at what I haven't done, I should instead look at what I have done. And for someone who's only experienced a quarter of her life, I've done a pretty fair amount. And I have so much to look forward to.
As for my career, I'm not quite sure where that will take me. I love doing PR, but where exactly do I see myself doing it? I guess I'm not supposed to have that all figured out at this point. I didn't graduate college all that long ago. Now, if I were bringing this up 10 years from now, then that might be problematic.
As for where to live, I love Sacramento. Sure, it's not the same as San Francisco (my #1 love), but it's a stone's throw away, and I can always visit. Living in the city may happen for me one day - who knows? But staying close to my family - my Grams especially - is very important to me. I think I've grown a bit restless here in Roseville. The 'burbs are a bit stifling when you're not in that whole housewife, husband, 2.5 kids and a dog phase in life. I like that it's clean and nice here, but for the love of GOD, why is everyone white, middle class and Republican? I need some culture, people. A friend of mine may move here next year, so I'd love to get a house in East Sacramento or something with her. I'll save the 'burbs for 10 years from now.
As for relationships, I don't pretend to have them figured out. Right now single life is treating me really well. I like doing my own thing and being independent. The only thing I worry about is getting too comfortable in that lifestyle that it'll be hard for me to accommodate someone else in my life. For so long, I always told people, "Oh I'm definitely a relationship person." But honestly, I have no clue how to have a normal one. I guess there's no manual on how to do it. It's just something you go with the flow and do. I do see myself getting married one day, and I'm excited for that. I'm just not counting down the days like I used to. I know it'll happen eventually - no need to force it.
All in all, I don't think life is ever "all figured out," even on the day you die. No one is a pro at life - we're all just as lost as the person next to us. That's comforting to me. No one knows the future, but if my past and present are any indication, everything will turn out just fine.