Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I Hope Bad Things Only Come in 3's

If bad things truly do come three at a time, I'd be OK with that because I'm pretty sure I'm maxed out for the week. And it's only Wednesday.

It's not as if life is so awful right now that I can't stand it. I'm a pretty tough broad, but there are times when I just need to have a breakdown. Today was that day.

Bad Thing #1: I discovered on Monday that I will have to miss my first competition with my tap class. I just realized it's the same weekend as my trip to San Diego for my grandma's memorial. Sure, it's a legitimate reason to miss a competition, and of course my family always comes first, but I can't help but feel completely disappointed. I hate letting people down, and changing the 2 dances we're working on in order to accommodate my absence is an annoying task for my teacher and teammates that I wouldn't wish upon them. I pay good money to be part of this class, and I've been working really hard. It gives me a sick feeling that I can't be there next month.

Bad Thing #2: Last night I made the completely ridiculous mistake of suggesting to be friends with someone I dated previously. "Why can't you just let people go?," you ask. Good question. I have no effing clue why I'm unable to have closure in this aspect of my life. Just call me Pandora because every single time, I can't help but open up a big ol' box of clusterfuck. Needless to say, my attempt at friendship didn't go so well. I was rejected and told that he "wasn't sure he'd be capable of that." Now, I'm not upset about losing a potential friend - I'm more hurt to be just flat-out rejected in the first place. I don't care where that rejection comes from. Whether you're a loser or not, you rejecting me hurts. I take it extremely personally - that's just the people pleaser in me. So it didn't feel good to basically be told that I'm not worthy to be someone's friend. And no, he didn't reject me because of some intense, deep relationship-like feelings for me. That ship has sailed for both of us. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but I'm sensitive. It hurt my feelings.

Bad Thing #3: I picked up my friend Nicole from the airport last night, and she stayed the night with me before heading home to the Bay Area this morning. Unfortunately, I'm a moron, and I didn't understand my complex's parking policy well enough to keep her car from being towed before she could go home. We woke up to an empty parking spot, and we panicked. Towing companies are assholes, for the record. Her car was all the way out in North Highlands, and they opened at 8 a.m. I start work in Roseville at 7:30 a.m. Obviously, I was late today. After getting lost several times in the ghetto, we found the towing place and got her car, which I insisted on paying for since this was my fault. That set me behind a cool $235, which I just put on my credit card that's already nearing maxed out status. Yes, folks. I may not be at the poverty level, but I'm nowhere near where I should be financially. I would be an utter disgrace to Suze Orman.

So yes, it's been a rough couple days so far. I cried my eyes out leaving the tow place and heading to work, so I'm sure I look like a real gem today. And for those reading who feel like my problems are futile, trust me, I'm aware of the fact that things could be much worse. But the point is this - when it rains, it pours, and sometimes a girl just needs to cry her eyes out and bitch about how shitty things are. I am that girl today.

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