Thursday, July 14, 2011

Upside Down

A little over a month ago, my life was completely different than it is now. In the last 30 days, so much has changed that I barely recognize anything anymore!

These are all mostly welcomed changes - namely, my fabulous career. It's been a lot of work, but it's fun to do. This week I've had the arduous task of taste testing recipes prepared by a professional, paired with some scrumptious wines. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it! I went from barely having enough work to fill my day to not having enough hours in the day to do my job! I love it! Sure, I felt like my head was going to explode for a minute there, but this is exactly what I signed up for. None of these hum-drum working days where I leave the office feeling completely unproductive and useless. At the new job, I do a lot!

There are downsides, of course. I get home later than I would like, which leaves less time for my favorite classes at the gym :( But I figure, it's more important to have an active mind anyway. I take walks downtown during my lunches sometimes, so I'm not completely immobile. Another downside - I miss the camaraderie I had with my old co-workers! Sure I love the new people at this job, but I'm not super close with anyone yet. I know that all comes with the territory of being new, but it was nice having people to chat with every day about this and that.

Another aspect of my life has completely changed this month - I'm dating someone! This is something way out in left field that I never, ever expected in a million years. I've been on this whole single kick for awhile, but sometimes you just click with people! This guy is a family friend, and we connected immediately. We actually know a lot of the same people, and we have some strange family connections (his mom went to elementary school with my dad, and his grandpa was the family doctor for my dad's side of the family for years). Beyond that, he is like no one I've ever met (cliche, I know). But it's true! He's insanely smart, very close with his family, funny beyond words, loyal, interesting, passionate about life, affectionate, straight forward - oh, and did I mention he is a fox? All of these attributes are great, but the one that tops them all is this - he actually likes me! I know that sounds pretty obvious, but given what I've gone through with all of my serious relationships, reciprocity is huge to me. And I want someone that cherishes me because I want to get back what I put out there.

So yes, Tracy now has a boyfriend after 2 years of singledom. It's pretty wild when I think about it, but it feels so natural at this point. When we met, I already felt like we were dating! So I'm excited to see what happens. I'm going into this situation very open and ready, yet I'm not creating expectations like I did in my last relationship. That led to a lot of disappointment, and I'd rather just enjoy the ride!

One major downside to everything is recently I've had to let go of a close friend of mine. It was someone who wanted a relationship with me, but I did not feel the same way. It sucks up one way and down the other, it really does. I wish he and I could be friends like before, but I totally understand why we can't. I want him to be free so he won't feel held back - he deserves all the happiness in the world, and I just don't think being friends with me was enough. I'm not sure if he knows I'm dating someone new (if he reads this, well then I guess the jig is up). I hope he knows that I never meant to hurt him and that I still think of him. And if he ever wanted to let me back into his life as a friend, I'd be there in a New York minute.

So there's the latest with me - many changes and so much possibility for the future.

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