Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Va-Jay-Jay Monologues

I volunteered for WEAVE this week, and my assignment was to table at an event through the UC Davis School of Medicine - none other than the Vagina Monologues!

I'd heard of the VM, but I'd never seen them. My task was to sit at a WEAVE table outside the event and then speak to the crowd to thank them for their donations (the event benefited WEAVE). Then I got to watch the show!

WOW - it was awesome, I have to say. It starred a bunch of med students who performed various monologues based on real interviews with different women. Some of them were funny (my favorite one was called "My Angry Vagina"), some were....different (one included the entire cast getting the crowd riled up by shouting the C-U-Next-Tuesday word over and over), and then some were serious (they touched on sexual assault and human trafficking).

Overall, I was very impressed with it and had a great time! Not to mention, I felt pretty empowered and happy to be a woman afterward (although I truly enjoy being a woman most of the time anyway).

Today is Saturday, and I loooove Saturday mornings....I love waking up on my own and not to an alarm, and I love catching up on all my DVR shows. I have absolutely nothing planned this weekend, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it! Today I'm thinking about taking a long walk at a park somewhere (before the rain comes) and possibly shopping for a dress for a work event next week. Oh, and then there's my dreaded taxes I want to get done.

Something pretty cool happened the other night - apparently when you dream of flying, it means you're really happy. I haven't had flying dreams in years, and what do ya know? Thursday night I was flying in my own personal little parachute-contraption. I find this very symbolic as I haven't felt this good in a very long time :)

The other day a song came on my iPod that reminded me of the ex. At that moment, I thought, "Wow, I haven't thought about him barely at all!" This is such a change for me, because in the past, I've been known to dwell. I dwell on things, listen to sad songs, make myself cry, the works. This time, I just feel this overwhelming sense of calm. I realized I don't miss him at all. I'm so proud of myself that I've finally made it this far!

As for my dating life (or lack thereof), I'm thinking this has been what's keeping me happy. No drama, no anxiety, no worrying, no questioning. Just living! I've talked to other friends who are dating people, and when they talk about little fights they've had or moments where they've questioned the other person, inside I just feel relieved that I'm not going through that for once. I've never had this mental placidity (GRE word!) before - I'm usually just a nervous wreck where I'm either stressing about liking a guy, stressing over talking to one, stressing over whether one likes me, stressing over how to advance things further.

Now, things are just peaceful. And it's not because I'm closed off or rejecting future possibilities. To the contrary - I am more open to love and relationships than I've ever been before. I know I'll be ready to take that leap once the right person comes along. I think that's the only way to be.

Anyway, I'm off to enjoy my Saturday!

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