Monday, July 19, 2010

No Woman's Land

Last night I had the distinct pleasure of penetrating a world so simple, yet so foreign to me - a guys' night in.

Growing up with a sister, numerous female cousins and a gaggle of girlfriends, I've never been around boys much (hence why I'm generally very awkward around them). Sure, I grew up with my dad, had a boy roommate at one point, and visited boyfriends' places plenty of times. But there really is nothing like being a fly on the wall when a group of 20-something guys get together.

A guy friend of mine invited me over to his place last night, and I arrived to find 4 guys sitting around, drinking beer and watching an old episode of "Family Guy." Oh my, was I in for a treat. None of these guys was trying to impress me by any means, so that basically meant they were oblivious to the shy little lady in the corner.

I know not all guys are like this, but it's funny to see how so many stereotypes we have about men can be true at times. In my few hours over there watching TV, here are some of the gems I witnessed:

- Burps and farts incorporated into jokes

- X-rated cell phone photos of one guy's new 40-year-0ld girlfriend (what happened to the good ol' days of carrying around innocent photo booth pics in your wallet?)

- Celebratory cheers when 2 girls began making out on the clearly-written-by-men show, "Entourage"

- Macho refusals to admitting to having any "man crushes"

- A refigerator consisting solely of beer, water and strawberry jam (expiration date questionable)

- Being told how great I smell (well of course I smelled good - these guys weren't exactly the types to invest in Oust...or cracking a window)

- Injuring my foot as I walked over a myriad of beer bottle caps that sat directly next to the kitchen trash can

Don't get me wrong - I had a blast sitting back and watching all of this take place! It was a nice change of pace from my female-dominated social circle. And P.S. I didn't step foot in the bathroom for obvious reasons. I'd probably have winded up with hepatitus or amoebic dysentary.

Hanging with these guys also got me to see first-hand why most men aren't jumping at the chance to be in relationships. Who wants to be forced to watch "chick flicks," talk about feelings and spend your hard-earned money when you can just chill out at home with friends and be 100% comfortable? I get the whole male camaraderie thing, and I'm sort of envious of it in a way. Guys are able to maintain their friendships without letting insignificant, catty bullshit get in the way. And they're happy as pigs in shit (sometimes this is literally true) doing just this, day in and day out.

But it got me thinking - this whole life of bachelorhood must get mundance at some point, right?.....Right?

Sigh. I think it's time for me to take a page out of the Boys' Club handbook and just enjoy the relationships I have with my family and friends. And who knows? Maybe one day I'll end up with a guy who actually likes things clean and won't mind watching "The Bachelorette" with me. Sure, he'll have already checked his testicles at the door at that point, but I'm optimistic that a real man who isn't afraid to admit he has a "man crush" is out there.

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