I hate gyms. Hate them! All I see are germs, sweat and people fitter than I am. Plus, I find them boring as all hell. Yeah, you can watch TV or listen to your iPod, but I can do that at home, on my comfortable couch, in my bright pink pj's, and not feel like I'm having an asthma attack. Oh yeah, and I don't get a tomato face when I'm at home, which is all too common when I exert any sort of physical energy.
Gyms have never been my comfort zone. Walking into one is like when I walk into a church or a super ritzy restaurant - I can't help but look around and think, "Do I really belong here?"
That said, I was a bit hesitant when I won a drawing prize at a work event that gave me 2 free months at a local gym. Two free months at this place is a $120 value, so I'd be stupid to pass that up. But I was nervous going to this place for fear that the employees would prey on my gullibility and magically get me to sign up for a lifetime membership. These meatheads are like vultures at these gyms - car salesmen with biceps! I've been known to be talked into a lot of stupid things, so I'd rather not go into the lion's den and have to get sweaty while doing it.
Well, Ty goes to this gym, so I figured it'd be safe to bring him along so we could work out together. We went last night, and I was severely dreading going. I'd worked non-stop all day, my commute was annoying and rainy, and all I wanted to do was watch Kim Kardashian's Fairy Tale Wedding on the E! Network. But I dragged my butt over there.
It started off annoying because the membership manager couldn't fathom why I had a 2-month pass (apparently they're rare at this place), and he was unsure how to redeem it. Then he brought me back to his desk to try and tell me how memberships now are the "cheapest he's ever seen." Riiiight.
Anyhoo, I finally got to the working out, which was boring at first, but then I was able to watch my own personal TV on a bike, and "Rachel Maddow" was on. Nothing like some political news to get me distracted and not thinking about working out!
The night ended well after Ty showed me how to use some machines (I especially liked the rowing one....I'm a regular Winklevoss twin), and we played some basketball. OK, "played" might be a bit of a stretch, but it was fun! Overall, it was a good experience despite my hatred of gyms. I think I just need to find what works for me and go with that. Because I'll never be one of these people who jogs on a treadmill for 45 minutes and pumps some serious iron. I'm more of a zumba and yoga girl. And now maybe a rower too.
I'm interested to see what other people's gym routines are - how in the hell do people get so motivated to go? And once they do go, how do they not keep from feeling like a zombie after one repetitive activity after another? Sure, I love the feeling you get once it's over. That's the best part. But I want to find a way to like the journey too.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Oktober Cluster F
I spent this past weekend with Ty and his family in their new Truckee house that he and his dad have been building. The bulk of it is completed, and now the only things left to do are decorating and finishing up a couple minor things here and there. The house is gorgeous! A true Tahoe-esque cabin with high ceilings, log siding and an enormous wooden truss inside the great room when you first walk in. I'm so proud of Ty for building it with his dad - he really put his career and life on hold these last 3+ years to help his family, and now he has this amazing home (not to mention new skills and memories with his padre) to show for it.
On Saturday we (as in Ty, his mom and her two girlfriends) worked on decorating the house a bit, which I admit is not even close to being my forte. My sister got the HGTV gene, while I'm more of the passive observer-type decorator. But I did my best and helped with little things.
Our group took a break and decided to hit up the Oktoberfest going on at Squaw Valley. The place was packed with lederhosen and beer mugs galore - as well as a whole boat load of drunk 20-somethings. Eh, not so much my scene. I would have been much happier if all kinds of annoyances didn't ensue, such as:
1) The beer lines were long as hell. You had to first get in the mug line and THEN get in the beer line. Umm, no.
2) Ty spotted a girl he's friends with and gave her a big ol' friendly hug hello. Did I mention this girl could have passed for Sarah Michelle Gellar's doppelganger? And did I mention that I wore no makeup and had on a frickin' hoodie for crying out loud?? It's not that I thought Ty liked her or anything. It was more that I was just having one of those low self-esteem days where you don't feel on top of your game looks-wise. I know I should be secure in my looks since in all honesty, I pride myself in being low maintenance. But we girls all have our moments when we just feel frumpy.
3) Ty got all hot and bothered when his mom entered him into some contest where you had to hold up beer mugs at shoulder height for a long time. Apparently he doesn't like when people enter him into things, so he stormed off in a huff. Oh, boy. We sure could have used some beers at this point, but alas, refer to #1.
Despite Oktoberfest being a bust, it all ended well because Ty snapped out of his little hissy fit, he assured me that he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what, and we drank our own damn beers (sans waiting in line) once we got back to the cabin. We broke in their new kitchen and ate a mouth-watering dinner of pot roast and veggies, and I passed out on the couch in my fleece pj's feeling happy as a clam. Overall, a lovely weekend to open up my favorite month!
On Saturday we (as in Ty, his mom and her two girlfriends) worked on decorating the house a bit, which I admit is not even close to being my forte. My sister got the HGTV gene, while I'm more of the passive observer-type decorator. But I did my best and helped with little things.
Our group took a break and decided to hit up the Oktoberfest going on at Squaw Valley. The place was packed with lederhosen and beer mugs galore - as well as a whole boat load of drunk 20-somethings. Eh, not so much my scene. I would have been much happier if all kinds of annoyances didn't ensue, such as:
1) The beer lines were long as hell. You had to first get in the mug line and THEN get in the beer line. Umm, no.
2) Ty spotted a girl he's friends with and gave her a big ol' friendly hug hello. Did I mention this girl could have passed for Sarah Michelle Gellar's doppelganger? And did I mention that I wore no makeup and had on a frickin' hoodie for crying out loud?? It's not that I thought Ty liked her or anything. It was more that I was just having one of those low self-esteem days where you don't feel on top of your game looks-wise. I know I should be secure in my looks since in all honesty, I pride myself in being low maintenance. But we girls all have our moments when we just feel frumpy.
3) Ty got all hot and bothered when his mom entered him into some contest where you had to hold up beer mugs at shoulder height for a long time. Apparently he doesn't like when people enter him into things, so he stormed off in a huff. Oh, boy. We sure could have used some beers at this point, but alas, refer to #1.
Despite Oktoberfest being a bust, it all ended well because Ty snapped out of his little hissy fit, he assured me that he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what, and we drank our own damn beers (sans waiting in line) once we got back to the cabin. We broke in their new kitchen and ate a mouth-watering dinner of pot roast and veggies, and I passed out on the couch in my fleece pj's feeling happy as a clam. Overall, a lovely weekend to open up my favorite month!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Baby You Can('t) Drive My Car
Not much is more irritating than car problems, I've come to realize.
Sure, I don't have car payments, but good lord, my ghetto ass car has been a thorn in my side these past few months.
First, it was a couple of routine things back in the spring - a belt, a pulley thing-a-ma-jig, a brake light. Then I got a random flat over the summer, which thankfully didn't require me to buy a new tire. This month, however, things are starting to fail one by one.
My driver side window won't go down - do you know how ridiculous I look having to open my door everytime I go in and out of my parking garage at work? My horn doesn't work, which means I can't get people's attention (or audibly flip someone off), and now we've got this lovely overheating issue going on.
A couple weeks ago, steam came out of my car, which is never a good thing. Come to find out, my head gasket needs replacing. Ty's neighbor is a mechanic and graciously took it in. He wasn't able to fix it right away, but he said I could keep driving it. Well, in order for that to happen, I have to keep my heater on to draw heat from the engine so it won't overheat. Did I forget to mention that last week's highs were all in the 90s and even hit 100 a day or two? Let's just say, I got a nice glimpse into my menopausal hot flash future going to and from work.
This past weekend, Ty's neighbor told me even more was wrong with it - some other engine head hoop-a-nopper (can you tell by my lingo that I'm very well versed in cars?), thus I don't have a car this week. So in addition to paying gobs more money for this stupid new problem, I also rented a car for the week. So in total, I'm probably paying more money into fixing a car than it is actually worth. Yes, I'm getting a discount, but sometimes that car payment sounds mighty nice if it means I have some peace of mind when I commute the 20 miles to and from work every day.
Anyhoo, I know it doesn't sound like it, but I'm really not stressing too much about all of this. I know my problems could be a lot worse! Ty has been extra helpful, so that means a lot to me.
Speaking of help and relying on people, I realized something new about myself this weekend. For some reason, I really worry about people not viewing me as independent or self-reliant. It's always been sort of hard for me to ask people for help - I do it, but it takes a lot of mustering up courage, and in the end I feel guilty. I know we're not meant to do everything by ourselves, but I guess I just had this idea that once I hit adulthood and paid my own bills that I'd be able to conquer pretty much any challenge that came my way. Nope, definitely not so. I do need help sometimes, and I want to get more comfortable asking for it.
The other thing I've been learning is that I'm extra weary of "losing myself" as I forge into this whole relationship thing. I've blogged about this before (about not wanting to become a pod person), but I'm coming to see in my relationship with Ty that I sometimes resist giving in to his ideas or suggestions. It's not because he has bad ideas or anything (well, there was that sushi place he swore was the best, and that was one hell of a mistake), it's more just me fearing turning into a doormat and letting a guy make all the decisions. I know that sounds a bit ridiculous because I would never date someone who was controlling or domineering in that way, but I just think it's going to take me awhile to get used to seeing that compromising is not the same as giving up control.
As a single person, you only have to worry about 1 person's happiness, and in a couple, you have to consider 2. It's always easy at first because in that honeymoon stage, you're willing to go that extra mile for the other person. That long drive to go see them one evening seems to take priority over that yoga class you usually go to. But after awhile, how do you balance living your own life while also remembering to take someone else into account, all the while trying to keep things even and balanced? That's the stage I'm in now - trying to learn how to be with someone. Because I don't know how I'll ever be married if I can't hack it as someone's girlfriend.
Just some of my thoughts lately! Everything is going so well right now. I'm extremely happy and very hopeful for the future :)
Sure, I don't have car payments, but good lord, my ghetto ass car has been a thorn in my side these past few months.
First, it was a couple of routine things back in the spring - a belt, a pulley thing-a-ma-jig, a brake light. Then I got a random flat over the summer, which thankfully didn't require me to buy a new tire. This month, however, things are starting to fail one by one.
My driver side window won't go down - do you know how ridiculous I look having to open my door everytime I go in and out of my parking garage at work? My horn doesn't work, which means I can't get people's attention (or audibly flip someone off), and now we've got this lovely overheating issue going on.
A couple weeks ago, steam came out of my car, which is never a good thing. Come to find out, my head gasket needs replacing. Ty's neighbor is a mechanic and graciously took it in. He wasn't able to fix it right away, but he said I could keep driving it. Well, in order for that to happen, I have to keep my heater on to draw heat from the engine so it won't overheat. Did I forget to mention that last week's highs were all in the 90s and even hit 100 a day or two? Let's just say, I got a nice glimpse into my menopausal hot flash future going to and from work.
This past weekend, Ty's neighbor told me even more was wrong with it - some other engine head hoop-a-nopper (can you tell by my lingo that I'm very well versed in cars?), thus I don't have a car this week. So in addition to paying gobs more money for this stupid new problem, I also rented a car for the week. So in total, I'm probably paying more money into fixing a car than it is actually worth. Yes, I'm getting a discount, but sometimes that car payment sounds mighty nice if it means I have some peace of mind when I commute the 20 miles to and from work every day.
Anyhoo, I know it doesn't sound like it, but I'm really not stressing too much about all of this. I know my problems could be a lot worse! Ty has been extra helpful, so that means a lot to me.
Speaking of help and relying on people, I realized something new about myself this weekend. For some reason, I really worry about people not viewing me as independent or self-reliant. It's always been sort of hard for me to ask people for help - I do it, but it takes a lot of mustering up courage, and in the end I feel guilty. I know we're not meant to do everything by ourselves, but I guess I just had this idea that once I hit adulthood and paid my own bills that I'd be able to conquer pretty much any challenge that came my way. Nope, definitely not so. I do need help sometimes, and I want to get more comfortable asking for it.
The other thing I've been learning is that I'm extra weary of "losing myself" as I forge into this whole relationship thing. I've blogged about this before (about not wanting to become a pod person), but I'm coming to see in my relationship with Ty that I sometimes resist giving in to his ideas or suggestions. It's not because he has bad ideas or anything (well, there was that sushi place he swore was the best, and that was one hell of a mistake), it's more just me fearing turning into a doormat and letting a guy make all the decisions. I know that sounds a bit ridiculous because I would never date someone who was controlling or domineering in that way, but I just think it's going to take me awhile to get used to seeing that compromising is not the same as giving up control.
As a single person, you only have to worry about 1 person's happiness, and in a couple, you have to consider 2. It's always easy at first because in that honeymoon stage, you're willing to go that extra mile for the other person. That long drive to go see them one evening seems to take priority over that yoga class you usually go to. But after awhile, how do you balance living your own life while also remembering to take someone else into account, all the while trying to keep things even and balanced? That's the stage I'm in now - trying to learn how to be with someone. Because I don't know how I'll ever be married if I can't hack it as someone's girlfriend.
Just some of my thoughts lately! Everything is going so well right now. I'm extremely happy and very hopeful for the future :)
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Karaoke: The Key to Bonding with Co-Workers
I frickin' love my job.
I already knew I would love it the minute I interviewed at the office, but here I am, finally getting in the swing of things and able to step outside the swirl of newness and see the job for what it is. I genuinely like coming into work and delving into new projects, sometimes so busy I forget to use the restroom or eat. That's the best!
This love of the job became all the more clear last week when our office met up in San Francisco with all of the company's California offices. First off, I got my own room at the W Hotel, which is sweet in and of itself. Not to mention, Ryan Gosling walked through the lobby 5 minutes before I did. So basically he and I were sleeping together (albeit in separate rooms and probably separate floors, but hey - what's a few concrete walls and insulation?).
This summit, if you will, made it all the more obvious why my company rocks - everyone is so brilliant and creative! It really lit my fire and got me all charged up to come back to the office and kick ass (I believe we call this "morale"). You know how there are those moments where you stop and think, "This is exactly where I'm supposed to be"? That was me last week. And really that's been me in a nutshell the last couple months.
Besides networking and professional development, my colleagues and I cut loose and went out for karaoke one night. As someone who tap dances and has a penchant for 2Pac, I quickly earned the name "Tracy the Rapper Tapper." Once people heard my go-to karaoke song was "Shoop," one of my co-workers immediately signed me up. It was a complete hit! All of us danced and sang along - my rapping was even mentioned by my boss at the meeting the next morning, and it was later mentioned again by the head of the San Diego office in front of everyone. Yes! Just the rep I need - the token white girl with thug appeal. But really - it was a great way to get closer to everyone and to help ease that stiffness you experience at a new job. I'm feeling much more comfortable at the office!
In other news, I realized the other day that I'm actually meeting one of my biggest goals - living in the present! So much of my time has been dedicated to dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. For the first time in a long time - maybe ever - I'm living each day as it is, experiencing things fully and soaking up every moment. It truly is a happy time in my life, and it makes dealing with the bad things so much easier.
Sure, nothing is perfect. One of my good friends doesn't want to be good friends anymore. I wrote him that I missed him and wished we could still hang out, but all I got back was a harsh email saying that we aren't going to be friends. He thought that me having a boyfriend and him seeing someone means we should be "fair" to them and not hang out. Well, for the record, Ty is the least jealous/possessive/controlling person I know. He would never stop me from hanging out with friends or other guys because he's secure in what we have. And that's the way it should be! But regardless, this guy friend (ex-friend) sounds to me like he's putting up a front that he's so "over it." Really? So after years of friendship, good times and memories, you're just done with it because I got a boyfriend? Oh, and he thought my reaching out was to soothe my own guilt for hurting him. Well, clearly his curt words rid me of any guilty feelings at this point. I'm a good friend, and I wish that were enough for some people. But I guess putting up this harsh exterior and making excuses is all people can do to protect themselves. And that's his prerogative. My prerogative is to not live in the past anymore, so adios.
That's about it over here for now. Just working a lot, trying to not be annoyed of my cat who is either barfing or getting litter from her box everywhere, and spending time with friends and family. A pretty fabulous summer thus far!
I already knew I would love it the minute I interviewed at the office, but here I am, finally getting in the swing of things and able to step outside the swirl of newness and see the job for what it is. I genuinely like coming into work and delving into new projects, sometimes so busy I forget to use the restroom or eat. That's the best!
This love of the job became all the more clear last week when our office met up in San Francisco with all of the company's California offices. First off, I got my own room at the W Hotel, which is sweet in and of itself. Not to mention, Ryan Gosling walked through the lobby 5 minutes before I did. So basically he and I were sleeping together (albeit in separate rooms and probably separate floors, but hey - what's a few concrete walls and insulation?).
This summit, if you will, made it all the more obvious why my company rocks - everyone is so brilliant and creative! It really lit my fire and got me all charged up to come back to the office and kick ass (I believe we call this "morale"). You know how there are those moments where you stop and think, "This is exactly where I'm supposed to be"? That was me last week. And really that's been me in a nutshell the last couple months.
Besides networking and professional development, my colleagues and I cut loose and went out for karaoke one night. As someone who tap dances and has a penchant for 2Pac, I quickly earned the name "Tracy the Rapper Tapper." Once people heard my go-to karaoke song was "Shoop," one of my co-workers immediately signed me up. It was a complete hit! All of us danced and sang along - my rapping was even mentioned by my boss at the meeting the next morning, and it was later mentioned again by the head of the San Diego office in front of everyone. Yes! Just the rep I need - the token white girl with thug appeal. But really - it was a great way to get closer to everyone and to help ease that stiffness you experience at a new job. I'm feeling much more comfortable at the office!
In other news, I realized the other day that I'm actually meeting one of my biggest goals - living in the present! So much of my time has been dedicated to dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. For the first time in a long time - maybe ever - I'm living each day as it is, experiencing things fully and soaking up every moment. It truly is a happy time in my life, and it makes dealing with the bad things so much easier.
Sure, nothing is perfect. One of my good friends doesn't want to be good friends anymore. I wrote him that I missed him and wished we could still hang out, but all I got back was a harsh email saying that we aren't going to be friends. He thought that me having a boyfriend and him seeing someone means we should be "fair" to them and not hang out. Well, for the record, Ty is the least jealous/possessive/controlling person I know. He would never stop me from hanging out with friends or other guys because he's secure in what we have. And that's the way it should be! But regardless, this guy friend (ex-friend) sounds to me like he's putting up a front that he's so "over it." Really? So after years of friendship, good times and memories, you're just done with it because I got a boyfriend? Oh, and he thought my reaching out was to soothe my own guilt for hurting him. Well, clearly his curt words rid me of any guilty feelings at this point. I'm a good friend, and I wish that were enough for some people. But I guess putting up this harsh exterior and making excuses is all people can do to protect themselves. And that's his prerogative. My prerogative is to not live in the past anymore, so adios.
That's about it over here for now. Just working a lot, trying to not be annoyed of my cat who is either barfing or getting litter from her box everywhere, and spending time with friends and family. A pretty fabulous summer thus far!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
There's a Snake in My Boot
I got down and dirty last weekend during a fun little cabin trip to Bowman Lake with the boy and his fam. It was SO much fun! And apparently, this highly outdoorsy family declared that I "passed the test." (For the record, there is no real "test" I needed to pass. I'm awesome in my own right; thus, proving it in the wilderness is unnecessary. I think they just meant that I was able to mesh with everyone in this environment).
Some highlights:
Some highlights:
- While hiking up a small cliff with a waterfall, Ty (the boyfriend, FYI) was ahead of me leading the way. Not much really scares him, so when he stopped in his tracks and quickly told me to go back down now, I started to freak out a bit. It wasn't until we got down the rocks a few feet that he said he was about a yard away from a freakin' rattlesnake that was shaking its tail! Apparently, no one ever spots those damn things up at Bowman, and this breed is especially aggressive and scary. Go figure that we almost step on one my first time up there.
- Ty's cousins had a quad and a commander there, which they let us borrow on a couple occasions. Oh, do you think we took a lovely stroll through the woods on those things? Of course not! Ty put the pedal to the metal, and I almost had a heart attack as his passenger. I don't think I would have been as scared if he rode those things all the time. But he doesn't, so all I could think of was being thrown off to my death. I felt loads better when I got to drive (hmm, maybe I have control issues?).
- I shot a shotgun. Me - the most anti-gun person ever. It was overrated.
- One of Ty's brother's friends almost walked in on me while I was peeing in our shared bathroom. Yeah, that was a hoot.
- Speaking of peeing, I tried to pop a squat and pee in the woods at 4 a.m. A mental block wouldn't let me, and Ty made fun of me, saying all the girls he knows can pee in the woods. Really? I find that hard to believe given girls' lack of, ahem, stream control. It's much easier when you have a laser pointer you can move around to avoid getting pee on your socks.
- I smoked tobacco out of a Sherlock Homes-esque pipe while sitting around the campfire. Hell yes.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Push It
2011 is my year to be pushed, I've decided.
I switched jobs, and so far, it is definitely a learning process. Picture being a freshman at a new high school - you understand the general gist of going to school, but you're surrounded by such newness that you're constantly feeling like a small fish in a big pond.
It sure is a different feeling being new at a job where you're expected to know things. When you're an intern or a recent college grad getting hired at entry level, there's that understanding that the learning curve will take some time. But in my case, I've been in PR for 3+ years, and even at my new agency I have to stop and Google the most rudimentary things.
That's the hardest part for me - going from feeling comfortable in my capabilities and knowledgeable about clients & company practices, to feeling overwhelmed, out of the loop and back at Square 1. I absolutely love what I do, and I don't regret my decision to leave my old job one bit. I just struggle with feeling clueless at times. I don't want to hold my company or clients back - I want to be the best! I'm sure I'll get there one day...just requires some patience and optimism. The people I work with are brilliant. I have some amazing teachers for sure.
I'm also being pushed physically this year given that I am now dating a regular Mr. Mountain Man. OK, that might be an exaggeration, but it's still a big change to go from weekends of laundry and gentle yoga to excursions in the mountains and going electricity-free....willingly. Don't get me wrong - the boy is not fastening me to a rope and forcing me to scale Mt. Kilimanjaro or anything, but I can already tell I'm going to have to toughen up when it comes to my outdoor skills.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm a delicate flower by any means, but I also wouldn't describe myself as Annie Oakley either. Old home videos can attest to my romanticism of being outdoorsy - on one trip to the Grand Canyon at about age 10, I sported my neon orange fanny pack and told the camera repeatedly, "I like hikes. I just love going on hikes. Hikes are the best," only to later walk for 10 minutes, quit and ask when we were leaving town for Vegas.
In my mind, the outdoorsy activities always sounded fun, but who was I kidding? I was choreographing bad ass dances to Paula Abdul as a kid, not tromping through the mud trying to get dirty. I didn't really climb trees - instead, my dad built us a playhouse with a carpeted ladder and actual drapes.
I guess you could describe me as "soft," which isn't a bad thing per se. It just means that when you're 25 and about to go stay with your boyfriend at a cabin in the middle of nowhere, you better fasten that fanny pack tight and actually like hikes this time.
I'm really looking forward to the trip, actually. It's up at his family's cabin about 2-1/2ish hours away - no electricity, no cell phone service. This isn't too far off of what I did for years as a kid with my best friend Marilyn. We'd stay for 7 full days on a lake in the middle of nowhere - no running water usually, but there was a nice little outhouse. I got plenty dirty and loved it! So I'm hoping this weekend will be no different. We'll be going kayaking, swimming, hiking and exploring. And not to be a totally stereotypical "soft" girl, but I just bought new swim/land shoes that are purple and adorable!
I switched jobs, and so far, it is definitely a learning process. Picture being a freshman at a new high school - you understand the general gist of going to school, but you're surrounded by such newness that you're constantly feeling like a small fish in a big pond.
It sure is a different feeling being new at a job where you're expected to know things. When you're an intern or a recent college grad getting hired at entry level, there's that understanding that the learning curve will take some time. But in my case, I've been in PR for 3+ years, and even at my new agency I have to stop and Google the most rudimentary things.
That's the hardest part for me - going from feeling comfortable in my capabilities and knowledgeable about clients & company practices, to feeling overwhelmed, out of the loop and back at Square 1. I absolutely love what I do, and I don't regret my decision to leave my old job one bit. I just struggle with feeling clueless at times. I don't want to hold my company or clients back - I want to be the best! I'm sure I'll get there one day...just requires some patience and optimism. The people I work with are brilliant. I have some amazing teachers for sure.
I'm also being pushed physically this year given that I am now dating a regular Mr. Mountain Man. OK, that might be an exaggeration, but it's still a big change to go from weekends of laundry and gentle yoga to excursions in the mountains and going electricity-free....willingly. Don't get me wrong - the boy is not fastening me to a rope and forcing me to scale Mt. Kilimanjaro or anything, but I can already tell I'm going to have to toughen up when it comes to my outdoor skills.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm a delicate flower by any means, but I also wouldn't describe myself as Annie Oakley either. Old home videos can attest to my romanticism of being outdoorsy - on one trip to the Grand Canyon at about age 10, I sported my neon orange fanny pack and told the camera repeatedly, "I like hikes. I just love going on hikes. Hikes are the best," only to later walk for 10 minutes, quit and ask when we were leaving town for Vegas.
In my mind, the outdoorsy activities always sounded fun, but who was I kidding? I was choreographing bad ass dances to Paula Abdul as a kid, not tromping through the mud trying to get dirty. I didn't really climb trees - instead, my dad built us a playhouse with a carpeted ladder and actual drapes.
I guess you could describe me as "soft," which isn't a bad thing per se. It just means that when you're 25 and about to go stay with your boyfriend at a cabin in the middle of nowhere, you better fasten that fanny pack tight and actually like hikes this time.
I'm really looking forward to the trip, actually. It's up at his family's cabin about 2-1/2ish hours away - no electricity, no cell phone service. This isn't too far off of what I did for years as a kid with my best friend Marilyn. We'd stay for 7 full days on a lake in the middle of nowhere - no running water usually, but there was a nice little outhouse. I got plenty dirty and loved it! So I'm hoping this weekend will be no different. We'll be going kayaking, swimming, hiking and exploring. And not to be a totally stereotypical "soft" girl, but I just bought new swim/land shoes that are purple and adorable!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Upside Down
A little over a month ago, my life was completely different than it is now. In the last 30 days, so much has changed that I barely recognize anything anymore!
These are all mostly welcomed changes - namely, my fabulous career. It's been a lot of work, but it's fun to do. This week I've had the arduous task of taste testing recipes prepared by a professional, paired with some scrumptious wines. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it! I went from barely having enough work to fill my day to not having enough hours in the day to do my job! I love it! Sure, I felt like my head was going to explode for a minute there, but this is exactly what I signed up for. None of these hum-drum working days where I leave the office feeling completely unproductive and useless. At the new job, I do a lot!
There are downsides, of course. I get home later than I would like, which leaves less time for my favorite classes at the gym :( But I figure, it's more important to have an active mind anyway. I take walks downtown during my lunches sometimes, so I'm not completely immobile. Another downside - I miss the camaraderie I had with my old co-workers! Sure I love the new people at this job, but I'm not super close with anyone yet. I know that all comes with the territory of being new, but it was nice having people to chat with every day about this and that.
Another aspect of my life has completely changed this month - I'm dating someone! This is something way out in left field that I never, ever expected in a million years. I've been on this whole single kick for awhile, but sometimes you just click with people! This guy is a family friend, and we connected immediately. We actually know a lot of the same people, and we have some strange family connections (his mom went to elementary school with my dad, and his grandpa was the family doctor for my dad's side of the family for years). Beyond that, he is like no one I've ever met (cliche, I know). But it's true! He's insanely smart, very close with his family, funny beyond words, loyal, interesting, passionate about life, affectionate, straight forward - oh, and did I mention he is a fox? All of these attributes are great, but the one that tops them all is this - he actually likes me! I know that sounds pretty obvious, but given what I've gone through with all of my serious relationships, reciprocity is huge to me. And I want someone that cherishes me because I want to get back what I put out there.
So yes, Tracy now has a boyfriend after 2 years of singledom. It's pretty wild when I think about it, but it feels so natural at this point. When we met, I already felt like we were dating! So I'm excited to see what happens. I'm going into this situation very open and ready, yet I'm not creating expectations like I did in my last relationship. That led to a lot of disappointment, and I'd rather just enjoy the ride!
One major downside to everything is recently I've had to let go of a close friend of mine. It was someone who wanted a relationship with me, but I did not feel the same way. It sucks up one way and down the other, it really does. I wish he and I could be friends like before, but I totally understand why we can't. I want him to be free so he won't feel held back - he deserves all the happiness in the world, and I just don't think being friends with me was enough. I'm not sure if he knows I'm dating someone new (if he reads this, well then I guess the jig is up). I hope he knows that I never meant to hurt him and that I still think of him. And if he ever wanted to let me back into his life as a friend, I'd be there in a New York minute.
So there's the latest with me - many changes and so much possibility for the future.
These are all mostly welcomed changes - namely, my fabulous career. It's been a lot of work, but it's fun to do. This week I've had the arduous task of taste testing recipes prepared by a professional, paired with some scrumptious wines. It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it! I went from barely having enough work to fill my day to not having enough hours in the day to do my job! I love it! Sure, I felt like my head was going to explode for a minute there, but this is exactly what I signed up for. None of these hum-drum working days where I leave the office feeling completely unproductive and useless. At the new job, I do a lot!
There are downsides, of course. I get home later than I would like, which leaves less time for my favorite classes at the gym :( But I figure, it's more important to have an active mind anyway. I take walks downtown during my lunches sometimes, so I'm not completely immobile. Another downside - I miss the camaraderie I had with my old co-workers! Sure I love the new people at this job, but I'm not super close with anyone yet. I know that all comes with the territory of being new, but it was nice having people to chat with every day about this and that.
Another aspect of my life has completely changed this month - I'm dating someone! This is something way out in left field that I never, ever expected in a million years. I've been on this whole single kick for awhile, but sometimes you just click with people! This guy is a family friend, and we connected immediately. We actually know a lot of the same people, and we have some strange family connections (his mom went to elementary school with my dad, and his grandpa was the family doctor for my dad's side of the family for years). Beyond that, he is like no one I've ever met (cliche, I know). But it's true! He's insanely smart, very close with his family, funny beyond words, loyal, interesting, passionate about life, affectionate, straight forward - oh, and did I mention he is a fox? All of these attributes are great, but the one that tops them all is this - he actually likes me! I know that sounds pretty obvious, but given what I've gone through with all of my serious relationships, reciprocity is huge to me. And I want someone that cherishes me because I want to get back what I put out there.
So yes, Tracy now has a boyfriend after 2 years of singledom. It's pretty wild when I think about it, but it feels so natural at this point. When we met, I already felt like we were dating! So I'm excited to see what happens. I'm going into this situation very open and ready, yet I'm not creating expectations like I did in my last relationship. That led to a lot of disappointment, and I'd rather just enjoy the ride!
One major downside to everything is recently I've had to let go of a close friend of mine. It was someone who wanted a relationship with me, but I did not feel the same way. It sucks up one way and down the other, it really does. I wish he and I could be friends like before, but I totally understand why we can't. I want him to be free so he won't feel held back - he deserves all the happiness in the world, and I just don't think being friends with me was enough. I'm not sure if he knows I'm dating someone new (if he reads this, well then I guess the jig is up). I hope he knows that I never meant to hurt him and that I still think of him. And if he ever wanted to let me back into his life as a friend, I'd be there in a New York minute.
So there's the latest with me - many changes and so much possibility for the future.
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