The F-Word

I think it's pretty safe to say I've been a feminist all my life.

Growing up in a progressive household, I always felt like I could do whatever I wanted and be whatever I wanted. It also helped that early on, my feminist beliefs were validated by the Spice Girls, so I proudly displayed various items emblazoned with "Girl Power," such as a t-shirt and a sparkly keychain on my mini-backpack.

Unfortunately, not everyone gets to grow up with that encouragement, and this, along with our culture's obsession with genderizing everything, is why people today think "feminism" is a bad word.

I've explained to numerous people, mostly guys, that "feminist" is simply a term for someone who believes in gender equality. Plain and simple. We aren't man haters, and we're not trying to take over the world and make men obsolete (although ask me on a day when I'm arguing with the boyfriend or witnessing the macho bravado of all the tools that live in Roseville - then I might be singing a different tune).

Feminism to me is just common sense. Men and women are equal and not limited to certain roles strictly based on gender. You want to be a stay-at-home mom or dad? Great! You want to go work full time and be a go-getter? Lovely. It's not all about women running around braless and lashing out at women who decide to stay at home. It's about choice and getting to be whatever we choose.

I feel like with my busy job, I've gotten away from being more in tune with what's going on. Not to mention, I've stopped volunteering for my domestic violence/sexual assault causes. Ugh, it makes me feel awful because I thoroughly enjoyed it, but this new schedule leaves me little time to even go to the bathroom, let alone lend a hand to others (I know, I know. Excuses!).

Fear not, because I am still the feminist I ever was - I get my feminist magazine, read my feminist blogs, buy feminist books, spout my feminist rhetoric to anyone who will listen (my cat). It is in no way a bad word - I'm a feminist and proud of it!

Busy Bee

The last couple months have been the busiest I've ever had. Let's see:

1) 2 people left my agency, meaning I'm now doing my job plus someone else's, plus a couple added items. Not to mention, someone has been on vacation this week, and I'm covering for her. I'm not quite sure who I am these days.

2) I bought a new car! Finally. No more hoopty for me.

 

3) I turned the big 2-6! I spent the day working, but I went to dinner that night with Ty at one of my fave places - Burgers & Brew. Then he showered me with several gifts (mainly practical stuff), followed by one last gift later in the night that he "forgot" to give me. It was a box of See's candy, and he insisted I open it so we could enjoy some chocolate. Oh, there was something in there worth much more than chocolate - not one but TWO of these awesome bracelets I've been wanting! I was inspired to get them after seeing Skyler from "Breaking Bad" wear them, and now I'm a proud owner of 2 Liquid Metal bracelets (Ty, who already racks up brownie points daily, went off the charts with this surprise).

My birthday continued on - I took that Friday off, and Ty & I headed to his Truckee cabin for some R&R, as well as a cooked dinner with my parents, sister and her boyfriend. BBQ chicken, BBQ veggies and potatoes, and a bundt cake with cream cheese frosting = perfection! Best of all, I got to be with my family. And the funny part was - my mom got me another Liquid Metal bracelet! I guess I wasn't as subtle about my wanting these bracelets after all. Thankfully, we can exchange it for a necklace I also like on the website. Woohoo!

4) Did I mention work is crazy? I've been dreaming about this major project for the last 3 nights in a row. Seriously - who dreams about conference logistics, binders and IT logins? This gal, that's who. This is actually just what I signed up for! All of this hard work will be channeled into a big event I get to go to for work next week - in Nashville!!! I'm staying at the Opryland Hotel for a blogger conference, and work aside, Rascal Flatts is going to be there! Oh, and one of the Jonas Brothers. But like I said, Rascal Flatts! I've got my boots and plaid shirt ready to go.

99 Problems

"If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one."

Ahhh, the lyric geniusness of Jay-Z.

I'm with Jay on this one these days. I've got some issues going on, but thankfully my love life isn't one of them. And I don't really have 99 problems. More like 2.

First off, I went to the doctor this past week for an annoying issue that I won't go into details about. Let's just say I've been dealing with this pain for a long time, and it's super uncomfortable. After being poked and prodded by my doc, she referred me to a specialist. Oy. That's when you know it's something tricky to cure when you have to see a specialist. So, I'm seeing this new doc next week. Fun!

You know, I can't really complain about this because this is a minor medical problem, and it could be so much worse - like an unwanted pregnancy or cancer. I know I'll be good as new in no time, but it's still quite frustrating to have to work through the pain and then take time off of work to figure things out. I'm hoping this doesn't require surgery because taking a couple days off will get me off my groove. And I'm really kicking ass at work, I feel like!

The second problem arose the same week as my doctor's appointment, of course. My car started driving funny, making a weird noise and my Check Engine light started flashing. Umm, I think my hoopty is on her last leg (or tire, rather). I was planning to car shop in February and was hoping she'd hold up until then, but nope. She has a mind of her own, that little bitch.

Thankfully, I'll be car shopping this weekend, so if all works out well, this problem will be no longer! I can finally not hold my breath every time I start my car, praying that it starts. I can't wait for that peace of mind every day when I commute to work.

So that's the latest! Hoping these 2 issues are solved soon. Until then, I just need to keep on truckin' - well, I can't literally, of course :)

Being Happy = Writer's Block

These last few months have been pretty tough on me in regards to blogging material.

For one thing - I'm trying to remain somewhat professional since I decided to friend my co-workers (and bosses) on Facebook, and they can easily discover my blog since it's listed on my profile. Sure, I'll throw a curse word in my posts every now and again, but those fly around freely at our staff meetings, so no problems there. Still - maybe this is contributing a bit to my being less candid on here?

Another reason - and this is probably the main one - I'm freakin' happy. OK, so it's not like I was ever unhappy (well, there was a strange phase in my life in early 2008 where I got somewhat emo), but this last year has been absolutely magical. And no one wants to read about pleasantness. It either comes off like I'm bragging (like all those people who bug on Facebook when they update their statuses constantly about how perfect their boyfriends/friends/meals/dogs/cocktails are.....*cringe!*) or it just sounds like I have no life outside of my job or boyfriend, considering those two things take up a considerable amount of real estate in my head.

I'm not a traitor to all of the great things that have happened in my life (because lord knows, I'm not missing unhappiness), but I have to admit it's a lot easier to blog when I have some built up tension or resentment. These days? It's pretty smooth sailing. And no one wants to read about that.

So my apologies to my 5 readers for being completely boring lately. I guess being happy comes with a price - I no longer have crazy dating stories, and my job is basically the same kind of fabulousness every day. Maybe I'm more inspired when I'm sad or angry....who knows?

Well, maybe I just need to suck it up and blog anyway. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm nowhere close to being job- or boyfriend-obsessed, so I guess I just need to get over my fear of appearing that way. And really - there's nothing wrong with being happy! I guess it's just weird to get used to :)

Speaking of happy, this weekend my food connections at work are reaping a new benefit - a free meal! I'm going to be reviewing a super nice restaurant in Old Sacramento for our blog at work, and Ty gets to come with me! So yes, there really are all kinds of free perks that come with working in PR.

Did I mention I'm addicted to meth now? Whooooooaaaa, now wouldn't that be one hell of a confession to make on a public forum? Actually, I'm just addicted to a show about meth now. It's called "Breaking Bad," and Ty and I decided to get hooked (sadly, pun intended) over New Year's weekend. While most people were spending the last hours of 2011 getting hammered, throwing confetti and making out with randoms, the BF and I were on a "Breaking Bad" binge. This show is ammmmmaaaazzzzing! I guess all of the sitting on the couch really wore us out because we fell asleep at 11 on New Year's Eve. So I rang in 2012 snoring away and dreaming of cooking crystal. Ahhh, just how every New Year's should be.

Happy 2012!

In Good Company

Last week we had a staff meeting at work that blew my mind. Basically we heard all about how well our agency has done this past year and where it's headed in the communications world. In sum - we are bad ass.

It does, however, make me feel a bit overwhelmed, as if I'll never be "smart" enough for my company. I know they hired me for a reason - but part of me wonders if maybe I was just one of those people who barely made the cut. Everyone at work is so intelligent, creative, innovative and ahead of the game. Not to knock myself and say I'm not smart - I'm just so in awe of the people I work with and all the creative masterminds we have in other offices as well. It's good to be around such smart folks. It definitely inspires me to work harder.

Speaking of good company, I spent this past weekend with Ty and his family up at their Truckee cabin. Saturday was spent sleeping in, eating cinnamon french toast (I actually made it!), going on a walk through the back country, ice skating (yes! A quintessential winter must-do), eating a hearty dinner and then drinking a couple cocktails by the fire.

Sunday (yesterday) could have gone better. I woke up grumpy and went to bed grumpy. Not my finest day, to say the least. Everything was sort of irking me (and no, this wasn't "women's troubles"). I did head up to Nevada City with Ty and his fam to check out Victorian Christmas. It's basically a street fair, and there are a bunch of people dressed up in Victorian clothes singing carols and playing music. What a downright cluster F the place was, but it was super fun looking into all the cute shops (I'm a sucker for old bookstores) and seeing everyone all jolly. This was probably the only slice of the day where I didn't have a bitch smirk on my face.

Then afterward, my sourness continued when my beau decided to get in a helluva mood himself too. Oh, and then there was the coming home to a couple piles of cat vomit. And effing up my living room rug when I vacuumed up a chunk out of it. Not to mention, my apartment was freezing cold, and Ty was giving Cammie the stink eye because he's allergic to her. As young kids say these days: it was an epic FAIL of an evening.

After sleeping restlessly, I woke up still feeling bitter (yep, just call me Scrooge), and was actually excited to go to work to get my mind focused on other things besides annoying (and frankly, not-all-that-important) hoo-haw. I'm happy to report that my foul mood has passed, and I'm currently listening to Christmas songs.

I'm crazy excited for Christmas!!! My fam is coming to town to look at lights, go to dinner and open up gifts. Sadly, I won't get to see Ty since he'll be up in Truckee, but maybe that's good for him since he can avoid A) cat allergy hell, also known as my apartment, and B) any potential shitty moods of mine that may arise. Regardless, it's going to be a lovely Christmas and happy new year - I just know it!

The Follow Through

Nothing quite irritates me more than flakiness (except maybe people who brag, but that's a topic for ranting later). I try my best to be one of those people who does what she says she's going to do - my word is my bond.

Sure, I'm not perfect at this by any stretch. Last week I ducked out of decorating a friend's office for her birthday because it was getting late, and I was tired and cranky. It was something I'd been planning on doing, but I ended up flaking (and subsequently feeling guilty about it). And sometimes I forget to call people back after they've texted or left me a voicemail. More times than not, though, I follow through on shit.

That's why it bugs when people don't have that same philosophy. I have a couple so-called friends who will conveniently forget I exist for awhile, then pop up randomly. Or there are the people I've known who make all these plans or promises, yet they just can't seem to turn the words into action. Don't plan on having lunch with me if you have no intention of doing so. And don't say you miss me, yet when I try to be engaged in your life, I don't hear a peep back.

There are, thankfully, the people in my life who do what they say they're going to do. These are the people I love! They call when they say they will, and even when I mention small things, they remember them later and make an effort to stay involved in my life. These are the kinds of people I should focus on - not the flakes. I'm truly thankful for this group of people in my life who talk the talk and walk the walk.

I talked on the phone with one of these people (one of my best girlfriends) last night for an hour and a half, and it felt great. And one of the things I love so much about my beau is that he believes in the follow through. He's a man of his word, and I didn't realize how important this was until I noticed how uncommon that quality is.

As is a common theme in many of my posts, I dwell on the past. I have a hard time letting go, and I try with all my might to recreate the past due to my nostalgia. I've held on to old relationships, and I've had trouble letting go of friendships that just weren't mean to be. It's high time I forget these flakes in my life - the people who don't make me a priority like I do for them. The people whose lack of action is actually saying to me all I need to know - that we're not really friends.

If I just keep on focusing on what I have, rather than what I don't have, there's no need to miss anything. I've got it all right here, people whose actions are loud and clear. And for that, I am ever so grateful.

Co-Worker Camaraderie

Last week I was invited to the grand opening of the new office of my former employer. I'm so grateful to still keep in touch with everyone there despite my moving on to a new agency. It was a spectacular event - and best of all, I got to see two of my previous co-workers and catch up!

Admittedly, it did make me a bit sad that I'm now on the outside and not as close to them as I used to be. When you work somewhere for years, you really get close with people there, and being around them again made me see how much I miss that closeness. I'm still getting to know everyone at my new job, and I know keeping it professional is more of a priority, but gaining friendships out of it would be nice too.

Thankfully, last Friday our office had our holiday celebration, which was a walking tour of eateries in downtown Sacramento. It was fabulous! I ate what could feed a small village, and walking to each location allowed us all to chat and laugh.

I loved having that personal time with my co-workers, and it made me realize that instead of being sad to leave old friends, I should be happy to have a whole slew of potential new ones. Also, one co-worker had a jewelry party at her house on Thursday, which was a blast! So I feel like I'm slowly getting more comfortable and becoming less of the "new girl" and more of a permanent member of the team.

This weekend was awesome! I performed with my tap class at our studio's Christmas show, and thanks to the boyfriend's mom bringing a crew of friends, I had quite the cheering section. Plus, my best friend came, which was a nice cherry on top. After the show, Ty, his mom, her said friends and I went to dinner and a taped concert for the band Blame Sally. It's going to air on our local PBS affiliate, and the intimate show was incredible! I'd never seen this band, but they are Ty's mom's favorite, and they were great - a nice folky, rock, country girl band. Then yesterday was just my average productive day of running errands and cleaning.

Tonight I'm going Christmas shopping - at home! Ahhh, gotta love the Internet. I plan on not stepping one foot in a mall this year. Last year, I waited too long to do my shopping, and doing it last minute was a nightmare. I loathe crowds when I shop, so buying all my gifts online this year is the perfect solution.

Here's to another lovely week - and to getting closer to Christmas! Woohoo! Love this time of year.