I'm Free to Decide

I'm proud to say I've already pretty much completed my New Year's resolution. I made the goal to be more decisive, so rather than sitting around, mulling over what my next step in life is, I grabbed the bull by the horns.

I'm now registered for the GRE (Graduate Record Exam) and headed for grad school! Pending my acceptance, of course.

I've been thinking about going back to school for awhile now, so once I decided what I want to do with my life, I took the steps to make it happen.

First off, what to get my degree in. Of course PR has always been my thing, but I was questioning it there for awhile. Now I know that this is an industry meant for me, even if it means I'd like to get into other areas of it later on. I'd love to work in-house somewhere, possibly at a university or an organization I care about. So I'm going to pursue a master's in organizational communication.

I bought a GRE study book the other day and am signed up to take the test on Feb. 6. Yikes! Right around the corner. I'm trying to study a little bit each day, with greater emphasis on weekends. So far, I'm feeling good about it. I know I'm not going to ace the thing, but that's fine because it's not like I'm shooting for Harvard.

Which brings me to my next decision - where to go. I've always considered moving somewhere an option, although my family and great life in this area are really what keep me here. Plus, I'd like to go somewhere relatively affordable so I'm not in any great debt in a couple years. So I'll be submitting my application to Sac State by March 1.

Next item - paying for school. I just completed my FAFSA application today (to apply for federal scholarships and loans). I doubt I'll get any free money, so I'm planning on taking out some student loans. That's the kind of debt that's worth it!

It was a huge weight off my shoulders once I got that all figured out. Of course, it'll be much more work from here on out, but I'm excited for the whole process.

Another great thing happened this week - I got a promotion! I'm now a senior associate. That was a very nice boost, and the raise ain't bad either ;)

Here's to a wonderful and decisive 2010!

Winter Wonderland

I've been wondering lately what my plan is. I've always had some goal in mind or something to aspire to, and lately I feel like I'm just stuck and not really going anywhere.

Everything at work is going great. I'm busy, motivated (usually) and the days go by pretty quickly. But I just wonder what my purpose is. What am I meant to do in this world? Yes, I'm 23 and have time to think about it. But I've never been one to sit still and just let things happen to me - I'm usually the one making things happen.

My volunteering with WEAVE has kind of slowed down (although I'm presenting at a workshop in a week), so maybe I need to pick up another volunteering endeavor.

In other, more exciting news, Christmas is right around the corner! We celebrated yesterday at work by going to Fat's for our office lunch. Yes, we went to Fat's, the place where I gave that perv an apple dumpling. No spotting of said perv, thankfully!

The lunch was delectable, as usual - I ate almost an entire slice of the banana cream pie all by myself! We were joined by 4 "surprise guests," as my boss put it. This included 2 former employees and 2 people we work with every now and again. It was a blast! Especially the part when my co-worker mentioned buying his spouse a gun for Christmas, and one of our special guests inquired, "Is that for use or for pleasure?" Oh, wow. I laughed uncontrollably at that point.

The only downside was I was so full for the rest of the day. And the worst part - I'm so lazy that I didn't work it off today! But my excuse is that this is the holiday season - you're supposed to indulge and be merry.

I spent my Friday night at my grandma's house with my aunt and cousin. We talked politics and watched "Confessions of a Shopaholic." LOVE that movie! My grandma is just a riot - she has this abhorrence for spearmint gum, and she could smell it in my purse all the way in the other room! Ahhh, my precious Grams is 84 and still quite the whipper-snapper.

I came home and did one of my favorite things - curling up on the couch with my afghan blanket (thanks for that, sis!), snacking and watching girly movies. Last night's choice was "Mean Girls." Ever the classic and one of my faves. It still makes me laugh! It was briefly interrupted by drunk text messages from this guy friend of mine. He's been texting me lately and asked me the other day if we were going to hang out this weekend. I totally would if I knew it would be just a friend thing, but I get the distinct feeling that this fool expects more. Ugh, so annoying! Why does everything have to be a booty call? Doesn't anyone just want to talk anymore? Apparently not.

And the irritating part is this guy wasn't even trying hard to make it a booty call. I mean, if you're trying to woo me, at least put in a little effort, buddy! No sweet talk or niceness. Just him putting on the macho bravado that I LOATHE, expecting me to just run to him and rip my clothes off. Not gonna happen.

The only good thing about this whole scenario is that it shows my improvement over the last couple years. Had this been awhile back, I might take the attention as flattery and worry about hurting this guy's feelings by turning him down. Not the case anymore! I'm so fed up with assholes and absolutely more certain now about the kind of guy I'd like to date, that my standards have been raised and my bullshit tolerance is slowly waning. Finally!

I don't always want to be this nice girl that guys can walk all over. Yes, I have a long way to go considering there are certain people (a certain person, really) who have this way of melting me down, even when I make up my mind to move on. I frustrate myself sometimes, but I feel like I'm more in touch with reality than I ever have been. Even if I still have a long way to go, that minor improvement means a lot to me.

So what do I do to help keep me in line? I concentrate on family (like going to visit my grandma) and friends - I'm headed to my friend Erica's family Christmas party tonight in Auburn. I can't wait! She has a wonderful family, and nothing fills my heart up more than being surrounded by happy people - and food!

I'll end this entry with a quaint little Christmas story - Cammie decided to give me my present early this year.....a nice little poop right outside her litter box and then about 4 little dingleberries dispersed throughout the bathroom. Season's greetings!

If You Don't Shmooze, You Lose

I was feeling a bit dejected earlier today. My boss gave us all the assignment to each send out 10 Christmas cards to anyone we wanted (business-related), rather than us sending dozens as a whole.

Ten cards sounded simple enough. And then I began to make my list in my notebook.

Let's see, there's the nice lady that I chat with at the local newspaper office here. There's a small client of ours that I mostly deal with, and then there's another client that would seem appropriate for me to send a card to.

And....

I couldn't think of anyone else.

How sad that I am a work loner! This is what I get for not shmoozing. Anytime I've gone to Sacramento Public Relations Association events, I get shy and don't always talk up everyone. I do meet many nice people, and I can talk to strangers. I guess I just never take that next step in forming a business relationship. I guess that would make me single in the work world, as well as in real life.

Sheesh, I need to step my game up!

Thankfully, my boss and co-worker both came to my rescue and helped me come up with a few other folks. Now I'm up to 9. I thought about addressing one to our UPS guy, but that idea was quickly poo-poo'd. Maybe the dry cleaning guy that comes in? OK, now I'm just pushing it.

People We're Fortunate to Know

Every now and again, I find myself getting down about our country's current state of affairs - an economy in the toilet, people close to me getting laid off or not able to find work, civil rights injustices. I read news headlines every day, and many times it's just a bummer. I know the news is reality, but when will things be truly good again?

Then there are days when I'm able to find the postives in all this mess. For me, this mostly lies in some of the fantastic people that I am fortunate to know.

My co-worker Sofia is one of these people.

A previous client of ours nailed it on the head - she said Sofia is the "sunshine of the office." And it's so true! Never does a day go by that Sofia doesn't have a smile on her face, a great attitude and just overall determination to make each day count. She really is an inspiration to me, and she's one of the main reasons I love coming to work every day.

Tomorrow is her birthday, so we celebrated it today in the office. First, the celebration began yesterday when Bill took the office out for lunch to John's Incredible Pizza. For those who don't know what this magical place is - well, simply put, you're missing out. It's a pizza and salad buffet mixed with arcade games. Sounds like Chuck E. Cheese, but it's more adult-friendly (they serve alcohol and have ESPN on in one of the banquet rooms) and 2,000 times better! We ate some lunch and then hit up our office's favorite (and probably most nerdy) arcade attraction - the trivia game.

Last night, I came back to work after Sofia had left so I could decorate her office. I decided on a Tiffany & Co. theme (her favorite!). I got a lot of cute engagement ring items from the bridal section at Party City, and then mixed it with light blue and white crepe paper. I even made a sign for her door that said "Welcome to Sofia & Co."

This was such a small gesture - I wish I could give Sofia the world! She deserves it! I always tell her that she reminds me of my mom. She's just one of those rare people who sees the good in everything, is nice to everyone they meet (and genuine about it), and just has the biggest heart. I always ask my mom, "Is there anyone that doesn't like you?" It's the same way with Sofia. She is the definition of a gem!

Laura brought in a cake that she got from Nugget Market - a yummmmmy fruit basket cake - and we all ate together in the conference room (which I'd decorated in Tiffany colors as well). Overall, a great Friday!

I'm looking forward to this weekend (who isn't?). I'm going to catch up on some must-needed sleep, plus celebrate the birthdays of 2 other friends of mine!

I know Thanksgiving is over, but I just want to say there is so much to be thankful for!

The Hiney Flu

I was nervous this past Friday that I might have the H1N1 flu (dubbed "hiney" by my sister - those 1's look like i's. Not to mention, apparently the virus kicks you in the hiney).

I was scheduled to cover for my co-worker on Friday and go in early. Thursday night I started to feel a little under the weather, but I assumed I just needed some sleep and I'd be hunky dory.

Well, I woke up at 3 a.m. scorching hot (in temperature, not looks, naturally). I stumbled out of bed and took my temp - 100 point something degrees! (This may not seem hot to some people, but my temp runs cold on this particular thermometer - like 97 degrees).

When my alarm went off at 6, I knew I couldn't go to work. Even if I could muster up the strength, I was still feverish, therefore contagious.

I felt really guilty calling in sick - for some reason, I feel like I should just push through things sometimes and suck it up. I don't want to appear like I'm not dedicated, especially since some of my co-workers have worked when they were sick. Plus, I was filling in for someone, so it was doubly inconvenient to miss work.

Then I reminded myself that no one else is going to look out for me - only me. And proper rest will heal me faster than if I push through it.

In the end, I was extremely glad I didn't go to work. I got progressively worse throughout the day. My fever remained, as did my head congestion. Then the severe body aches arrived - I felt like I'd just worked out for hours with Billy Blanks (minus actually seeing any results). I could barely move, let alone get up and make food.

Ugh, to be honest, it made me wish I had a boyfriend! Then someone would be there to make me soup and be there for my every beck and call. My mom used to give me a bell to ring so she could hear me in my room (what a gem!). Sadly, I was left alone with Cammie, who kept trying to cuddle with me, but I was too hot for any such affection.

I did catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror - that made me thankful I didn't have a boyfriend. Yikes. If I couldn't even make food, a shower was obviously lower in priority. I was not lookin'/smellin' pretty.

The good news is that it appears it wasn't swine flu. My fever broke that night (I basically swam in my own sweat all night - even had to change my shirt at 4 a.m. - ewwww), and by Saturday night I was feeling much more functional.

Thankfully I went back to work today. My days of rest were necessary, yes, but ultimately boring. I like being in tip top shape where I can actually be productive.

Work is super busy this week. Also, tomorrow I have my creative writing class. The professor asked 2 people to volunteer to have their stories read by the whole class tomorrow and then critiqued. I volunteered last week, in my typical overachiever fashion, so hopefully everyone likes it! And if not, I do appreciate the feedback.

Other than that, not too much is new. The new Twilight movie comes out this Friday, and yes I already have my ticket to go see it (on Saturday morning though). I can't wait!

Oh, and I won't be getting the hiney flu this year - someone is coming in on Wednesday to vaccinate us at work! Never thought I'd look forward to a shot.

Job Appreciation

Given the current economic climate, I've been hearing a lot of people saying, "Well I'm just glad to have a job right now."

That is definitely true for me, but this past month, I've learned more about why I really do love my job - and not just simply because it pays the bills.

I went to a mix and mingle event last week for PR professionals, mostly just to hang out with a friend of mine there (I know, I know - PR is all about networking and meeting new people). But honestly, I wasn't really in the mood to shmooze and talk career stuff.

There were a couple "in between opportunities" people there (a.k.a. unemployed), and it brought me back to the days when I was moving from the Bay Area and looking for work in Sacramento. Finding a good PR job in Sacramento is tough, not to mention when the economy tanks, it's even harder. I had to talk to people a certain way, ask certain questions, put my best foot forward, collect business cards like it was nobody's business. Basically, I had to kiss a lot of ass. It was horrible!

So I really feel for the people who've been unexpectedly thrown back into the whole job hunting thing. It sucks, plain and simple.

When I was looking for work here, I was really willing to work anywhere. I'd been told that my first "real" job after college didn't matter (as far as "making or breaking" my career), so I was open to working anywhere where someone said "yes." Imagine my luck when I ended up at my current job.

Now, this isn't me trying to brag and talk about how perfect my career is. There are some things I wouldn't mind changing, and I second-guess myself and my path all the time. But sometimes it takes hard times to really make you re-shift your thinking and see things in a positive light.

All of the things I would complain about when it came to work have lately seemed petty and irrelevant. I see people moving on up at their jobs, and it really made me question if I was learning enough or at the right place.

But when it comes down to it, who cares what my title is? And so what if I'm not 2 steps from becoming VP? I don't meet famous, wealthy people, and I don't name drop my clients. My job involves some administrative work that some would classify as "below" my job title. But in the grand scheme of things, who cares??

I guess I did for awhile there, and I think I lost sight of what's important. I work at a small firm, where everyone is tight-knit and close. We get along, and we don't have the trouble of office politics or cliques. No one is power-hungry here, willing to step on anyone's toes just to make it to the top. I work with 5 of the best people I've ever met, and I can honestly say that I genuinely like every single one of them. They each have something about them that I can learn from, and that learning takes time. I've only been here not even 2 years, and I have a long way to go.

I just need to remind myself why I'm here - we do great work for our clients, and I almost always enjoy coming into work every day (I'll admit, it's tough on Mondays, but once I'm there, I'm always happy to come in).

I've just got to keep that in mind next time I'm making copies, scanning or putting items in the mail. I once heard a good quote: "You are right where you're supposed to be." (Maybe it was a fortune cookie or something). Oh, how true that is.

Don't Put Off Tomorrow...

I've only earned one "F" in my entire life, and it was in college. In Beginning Ballet.

Yes, ballet.

It was my first term at Oregon, and I didn't understand the concept of dropping classes when you weren't enjoying them. I assumed since I'd shown up for most of the classes that it wouldn't be a huge deal if I missed the rest of the quarter. Yeah, not the best idea when the bulk of your grade is determined by attendance.

Ahh, yes. The many intricacies of college.

My naivety at that time didn't have huge repercussions, just a little "F" on my transcript that basically meant nothing since the class was only 1 credit. It definitely gave my adviser a chuckle when she saw it, but overall, no major consequences.

Now that I'm in the real world, my "grades" are determined by my work performance and how well I serve my clients. On that note, I would give myself an "F" these past couple weeks.

Work has significantly picked up, so I've been swamped. I've also been dealing with other stuff outside of work like my living situation, volunteering, the fiction writing workshop I'm now enrolled in. Either way, there's no excuse for procrastination, yet I made the mistake of letting an important client project slip through the cracks. So not in my character usually, but somehow it happened. And I got in trouble.

My boss called me in his office the other day and tactfully told me I needed to hurry my ass up (my words, not his). He made note that I don't ever come in early or stay late, and when it comes to getting things done during a busy time, I should be doing whatever it takes. He was right.

Then our senior vice president called me in his office and echoed what my boss said - I needed to step it up and get this done. I thought maybe all this pressure would have made me cry, but it actually motivated me. I was half-assing and I needed to get back on my A game ASAP.

So I came in early yesterday, didn't take a lunch and stayed late. And you know what? I got everything done that I needed to and felt on top of the world! So simple, I know. I guess I sometimes take my relaxed work atmosphere for granted. I also question if I'm working hard enough all the time - when I see other people putting 110% into things, I'll often ask, "What's the point?" Not to say that my work isn't important to me - it truly is - but it always bothered me in college when people recorded every lecture on their dictaphones. Why create more work for yourself?

I do understand the value of going the distance without pushing your limits - many times there is a difference between working hard and working well. I feel like I work well - I get things done, do my best, but I also keep my sanity. Never have I wanted to be one of those career-obsessed people. One of my co-workers will answer her BlackBerry at 4 a.m. or check her work e-mail even when she's off. I can't think of a time when I would ever do that...is that so bad? I'm a huge believer in work-life balance.

I guess my equilibrium has been off lately, and I haven't been as focused on work. This incident changed that. I don't ever want to be in that position again, so in a way, I'm glad this happened.

There's nothing like a little drama and the fear of a metaphoric "F" to light a fire under my ass!

Rejection then Perfection

I was rejected last week from something I'd applied for, something I'd felt pretty good about. I was rejected via e-mail - that's the relationship equivalent to getting dumped over a text message. I wasn't even worth a phone call to these bastards!

But instead of getting all weepy and pathetic, I shook it off and got back on with my life. That got me thinking about all the rejection I've experienced in my life and how it's really toughened me up. And I'm not trying to throw a Pity Party and say "Oh poor me. Nobody loves me, blah blah blah." I know I'm a valuable person that has a lot to offer. But that doesn't make me any less susceptible to rejection.

Not all, but many of my experiences in rejection have been in the arena of boys. I remember liking this guy Owen in 10th grade. He was a senior and we were in the same Chemistry class. A semi-mutual friend of ours let me in on a little secret: apparently Owen had a crush on a girl in his Chemistry class - a younger girl. Well, after scoping out my competition (not saying I was spectacular - pretty sure I had braces at the time - but I figured he was referring to me since he didn't talk to any other younger girls in the class besides me).

So Brilliant Me got the fantastic idea to write Owen a note (with a pink pen even!) and leave it on the windshield of his car. I basically just wrote a bunch of gibberish and added my phone number at the end. And then I waited. Waited alllll weekend to hear from him. Not a peep. Hmm, strange.

Come Monday morning, I was quickly told that Owen had a new girlfriend - my enemy Kelley! How in Hades did THAT happen? I'm guessing our mutual friend had received some bad information (or blatantly screwed my ass over - I'm still unsure which), and I had now humiliated myself.

When I look back on that now, I remember I felt awful at school and wanted nothing more than to go home, cry to my mom and listen to the sad tunes of Britney Spears or *NSYNC. Nothing spells out teen angst better than "I'm Not a Girl, Yet Not a Woman" and "Digital Get Down." But I also think back and realize, why was I so sad over that dipshit? He was a juggler for crying out loud! And no, not a juggler of women. An actual juggler - he was always seen throwing around some lame rings or dumb ass hacky sacks. Could Ringling Brother really have made me happy? Highly doubtful.

Then there was the time I was rejected by a guy on national television. Granted, it was a hot, famous BMX rider (Dave Mirra). When MTV came to Lake Tahoe a few years ago, my friend and I went up there to be in some of the beach shots for TRL. It was all taped, so the coverage wasn't shown until the following week. They taped me asking Dave Mirra what he was scared of and if he would marry me (yes, I actually did this). I watched in anticipation that next week when Dave finally came on TRL. His reaction to my request? "Whoa, that's what I'm scared of right there!" or something to that effect. Sigh. Even famous people who are 3,000 miles away and will clearly never meet me couldn't even throw me a bone.

Besides male rejection, I have also experienced academic rejection. I applied for this huge scholarship in college that would have paid for an entire year's worth of tuition. It was for anyone who graduated from my high school in NV, so I figured the pool of applicants (and my competition) was pretty small. I was on the phone with my dad when the letter came, and he listened to me as I opened it all excitedly. Ugh. A big fat NO. I definitely cried after that one.

I can't even begin to cover all the jobs I've been rejected from. Before I joined the PR firm I work for now, I was rejected from some ghetto ass legal secretary job in an office that consisted of one fat ass lawyer and his part-time associate. And he worked in Loomis (with a population of like 40). I'm sure I couldn't have handled the multi-phone line system when his plethora of calls came in. Oh, and that copy machine? That new-fangled contraption can be a bitch to learn how to use.

Overall, I've had my share of being told "no." And while rejection is never fun or easy, it doesn't make me feel as incapacitated as it did when I was younger. A guy not liking me was the end of the world in high school. Not getting a position or scholarship or spot on the cheerleading squad was hard for me and left me questioning myself a lot.

I still question myself at times, but it's those accomplishments and times I've heard "yes" that keep me going. I beat out 100 people for my current position at work, and my oh-so-selfless parents were the best scholarship fund a gal could ask for! I still get rejected by guys, but I've had the pleasure of meeting some really nice ones who have changed me and helped me grow.

Without that risk of rejection, I would not be where I am today. Now I'm better able to shrug things off and move forward. And just think: if I hadn't experienced rejection, I would be some asshole lawyer's bitch and the wife of a circus freak.

Plugging Along

When I woke up this morning, it took every iota inside me to physically get out of bed and actually start getting ready. Oooh, how good it sounded to just call in sick or jump out of my second story window (neither of which would be plausible - I can't lie for beans, and I seriously doubt jumping out of my window would do much more than scrape my knees and bruise my ego).

I felt like I just couldn't pull myself together, if that shows how unmotivated I've been lately. Not to mention, the ex was in my dream (why oh why, slumber gods?). The day just started off horribly.

But I pulled myself together and put one foot forward at a time - get ready, go to work, take care of tasks one at a time, etc. And really, the day went pretty well. I booked a second radio interview for one client and got serious interest from 2 other producers.

After work I went to a presentation on human trafficking (what a hoot on a Tuesday evening!). It's part of my volunteering with WEAVE. In order to stay certified as a peer counselor in domestic violence and sexual assault, I have to complete a certain number of hours of extra training. So tonight was human trafficking. VERY interesting! Apparently Sacramento is the #2 city in the country for human trafficking! It's because the Bay Area is a huge entry point, and Interstate-5 is a main thoroughfare for these traffickers, hence why Sacramento is a huge hub for these activities. So sad :(

Tonight is my guilty pleasure show - "More to Love." For those of you who don't watch, it's basically "The Bachelor" for bigger folks. It is one of the most entertaining things I've seen in awhile - not because I make fun of these women or anything (OK fine. The girl who cries in EVERY episode and never fails to mention how she's never been on a date might be ridiculed by yours truly every now and again). It's great because these are real people - they're not these stick figures who have been idolized and sucked up to their whole lives. Granted, these women were picked to be on TV for a reason (their cattiness and bitchy antics), but I like seeing more realistic people on shows.

Speaking of weight, I just saw on a Time magazine cover that apparently exercise isn't what helps people lose weight - it's simply their diet! Wow...that actually makes me feel better since I loooooathe working out. I like staying active, but you will never catch me going to the gym regularly and putting it on Facebook as one of my interests. I like simpler physical activities that don't feel like you're exercising (or rather, exerting myself to the point of exhaustion). How can people like working out? Who wants to sweat uncontrollably, pant like they're one smoke away from enphysema and bring your body to the brink of unbearable pain? I keep it simple - walks, pilates DVDs, dancing in my room, cleaning (hey, working that vacuum takes energy!).

And on that note, I'm going to go exercise my mind by doing something intellectual - watching some reality TV!

Working Girl

I chose the name of this entry because I'm currently watching an old episode of Oprah, and the Bunny Ranch brothel is being featured. Oh, holy Hanukkah. Plus the title coincides with my theme tonight: work!

I've been reading a book by Suze Orman (my new idol) and she offers some great insight on choosing a career, not a job. My career path has been at the forefront of my mind lately, and I've really been questioning where I'm at and where I want to be.

I have a vague idea of where I'm headed, but sometimes I get discouraged and feel like I'm stuck in a rut and can't get out. This is what my dad calls "a case of the blahs." I'm diagnosing myself with this ailment, and now it's time to find the antidote.

For a moment, I was considering going to law school. I had convinced myself that maybe PR wasn't for me and that I was just fooling myself. Someone suggested that maybe it's not that I'm unhappy with PR itself but just my job specifically. Further, Suze says that furthering your education just because you feel like you're at a dead end career-wise is a stupid move. Of course PR is what I'm supposed to be doing! I just have serious self-doubt issues that I need to address stat. Law would be fun, but I know I'm in the right field for me.

I think my self-doubt partly stems from observing others and - I hate to admit - envying their situations. I have this distinct view in my mind of where I want to be, and when I see others who seemingly live that, it frustrates me when I hear how they got there. So many times I'll hear people say they just "fell" into something or that they never planned on doing a certain job, yet the opportunity just landed in their lap one day.

What about all this planning I've been doing for 6 years?? Shouldn't that count for something? I bust my ass trying to get the best career possible that makes a difference, and when I feel like I'm just spinning in circles, it's infuriating to see others half ass things and seemingly succeed! I know drive and fervor can't be showcased on a resume, per se, but it has to work to my advantage at some point, right? I've got the chops to back it up, of course. I know I'm a hard worker and have passion, but those seem to be lost in me these days.

Thankfully I take after my mom and am optimistic despite the dreary job market. Things always get better with time, and if I continue to work hard and prove myself, it'll pay off.

It kind of reminds me of this story I read in elementary school that has stuck with me for years. This Chinese emperor was near death and wanted to find a child to replace him on the throne. So he handed out seeds to every child in the land and told them that whoever grew the best flower would win and take over as emperor. This one child came from a very honest, hard-working family. He watered and cared for his seeds every day, but no matter what he did, nothing grew. He felt disappointed but knew that he had tried his best. On the day when the children gathered at the palace, they all brought their flower pots with them. The boy noticed each and every child had a gorgeous, huge flower in their pot. He only had dirt in his with the failed seeds. Despite feeling discouraged, he presented his pot to the emperor, convinced he had instantly lost. In front of everyone, the emperor chose the boy as his successor and revealed all of the seeds he had dispersed had been dead to begin with. This boy with just the dirt was the only honest one of them all.

OK. so I'm not exactly a little Chinese kid with unwavering integrity, but it's a great story that reminds me of an important lesson: you may feel like you're surrounded by a bunch of undeserving assholes, but as long as you continue doing things honestly and the best that you can, it'll pay off in the end.

I'm a huge believer in karma and patience (but not always a follower of the latter), and I'm hoping my days in the rut are over soon!